Kimberly-Clark plans to raise prices - again
Kimberly-Clark (KMB: 62.96, -0.74, -1.2%) said prices will be 6% to 8% higher on Kleenex facial tissue, Cottonelle and Scott bathroom tissue, Viva paper towels, Huggies diapers and Pull-Ups training pants.
Oh yeah. That's what I'm talking about. I'm earnin' 6% to 8% on hoarded facial tissue, bathroom tissue, and paper towels. I feel SO much wealthier now. I'm certainly not going to be cutting back on my spending. TPEW (Toilet Paper Equity Withdrawal)! Disneyland here I come!!
Fine Print: The hoarding is real but the reaction is both sarcastic and illusionary.
I'm gonna start an industrial startup building coin operated TP dispensers.
ReplyDeleteAfter I dump that onto some fools at a venture capital firm, I'll build storage bins that issue rolls to janitors with biometric chain of custody tech and inventory control.
A cottage industry of hording "StagMarks" are lurking in the storage rooms of many an office building. Someone has to keep them in line.
Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteLOL!
StagMarks brand toilet paper? You are way too kind!
I have a company slogan in mind.
We can clean up all your subprime assets with our two-ply balance sheets!
Gallows humor AND potty humor? I've died and gone to heaven. :)
Sorry I'm not potus,
ReplyDeleteI didn't mean to say you were anonymous, although it might be best based on the business you are planning. ;)
Stag,
ReplyDeleteYou might want to consider hoarding other KMB products. The future is uncertain and I'm not sure you can Depend on future social security. Also, with the aging of the baby boomers, it seems likely we can bank on runs in the future.
http://www.consumermedhelp.com/KimberlyClark1.html
BTW, I heard the Bernanke did a Google search of the words "Depends & bricks".
MAB,
ReplyDeleteLittle Swimmers
http://www.littleswimmers.com/na/
Little Waves, Big Dreams!
Don't want to be caught naked when the Tide™ goes out.
Speaking of Tide™, I could probably invest in more Procter products but the Gamble I Always™ try to avoid. Perhaps it is the Secret™ Scope™ of Cascade™-ing defaults. Perhaps it is the fear of a dead cat Bounce™ while trying to leverage the Gain™ (Bounty™). Iams™ just trying to Safeguard™ my investments during this Era™ of high volatility (Vicks™) and Ivory™ towers.
Don't let the Crest™ of prosperity get you Downy™ though. Just because our government can't Fixodent™ doesn't mean we can't be full of Zest™ and good Cheer™!
I Luvs™ puns. They Pamper™ me. Olay!™