Raytheon Unveils Military-Grade Smart Bond Technology
Traditional bonds are not well suited to low level precision attacks on hardened deflationary ground targets. It is for this reason that we are proud to announce a new bond for the 21st century. The Pathway QE-IV Laser Guided Bond is the most advanced precision-guided bond in the history of monetary policy.
A complex algorithm involving 10-year traditional treasury yields and short-term Fed Funds rates allows these bonds to fly well below the radar of passing hyperinflationists. Further, a large warhead of excess automobile inventory makes this bond a true blowout bunker buster.
The most advanced technology lies (repeatedly) in its nose-mounted laser. This laser, firmly affixed to the current Fed Chairman's nose, has an extremely large field of view. An oversized rear view mirror has been installed as well, for those times when additional "forward" guidance may be necessary.
In optimal conditions, this bond has a precision of +/- 0.1%. However, the laser guidance does have limitations. In periods of severe bad weather (Operation Polar Vortex) or when the laser is simply switched off to conserve energy, all guidance is lost. In these situations, the bond reverts to its predetermined optimal glide path as seen in blue in the following chart.
A complex algorithm involving 10-year traditional treasury yields and short-term Fed Funds rates allows these bonds to fly well below the radar of passing hyperinflationists. Further, a large warhead of excess automobile inventory makes this bond a true blowout bunker buster.
The most advanced technology lies (repeatedly) in its nose-mounted laser. This laser, firmly affixed to the current Fed Chairman's nose, has an extremely large field of view. An oversized rear view mirror has been installed as well, for those times when additional "forward" guidance may be necessary.
In optimal conditions, this bond has a precision of +/- 0.1%. However, the laser guidance does have limitations. In periods of severe bad weather (Operation Polar Vortex) or when the laser is simply switched off to conserve energy, all guidance is lost. In these situations, the bond reverts to its predetermined optimal glide path as seen in blue in the following chart.
Click to enlarge.
In all seriousness, why does every day feel like April Fool's Day? ;)
Source Data:
St. Louis Fed: Custom Chart
Note how long we've been hugging that blue trend line (and we're currently right on it). 5 years!
ReplyDeleteNo matter how hard we try, we can't seem to actually reach escape velocity.
1. We bounced hard in 1987.
2. We bounced hard in 1994.
3. We bounced hard in 2003.
We're trying to bounce right now, but after 5 years of sitting on the floor how high can we really expect to go? Seriously.
Bouncing Benny.
ReplyDeleteRob Dawg,
ReplyDeleteBouncing Benny
Genius!
Play More Mine
What's the worst that could happen? It's not a party until someone gets their interest rate eye zeroed out!
It's only a matter of time until the bond vigilantes open an industrial sized can of whoop-@ass on Ben Bernanke.
ReplyDeleteA complex algorithm involving 10-year traditional treasury yields and short-term Fed Funds rates allows these bonds to fly well below the radar of passing hyperinflationists.
Any believer in the almighty bond vigilante will tell you there is no value in long term bonds.
Under the radar, Stripped of their interest.
I love not always having to explain myself. Step on the trip wire. Shoots up. Explodes. You die and fall down.
ReplyDeletemab,
ReplyDeleteQ: How did the chicken STRIPS cross the road?
A: Slid on a puddle of BBQ (Bond "Bubble" Qe).
Rob Dawg,
ReplyDeleteI love not always having to explain myself.
Hoocoodanode? ;)