Thursday, June 25, 2015

The Wisdom of Dan Qualye

Bank failures are caused by depositors who don't deposit enough money to cover losses due to mismanagement. - Dan Quayle

We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world. - Dan Quayle

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls. - Dan Quayle

I once thought that all three of those quotes were funny. But in hindsight, they all served as ominous warnings.

It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it. - Dan Quayle

Years from now, we may look back and find the hidden meaning in this quote as well. Fracking ridiculous. I'm probably just imagining things.

Update:

Anonymous has pointed out in the comments that several of these quotes are actually Quayleisms, quotes attributed to Quayle but were actually quotes by those trying to emulate his style for comedic purposes. Thanks Internet for leading me astray.
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10 comments:

  1. michaelJune 25, 2015 at 9:13 AM

    As I sit here in the Jurors lounge I almost spit my coffee out when I read this.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Stagflationary MarkJune 25, 2015 at 9:21 AM

    michael,

    You almost created some coffee pollution? OMG! Don't you see what this means?

    Sharing Dan Quayle's wisdom can actually make it come true! Hahaha! ;)

    I suspected it was possible. He did say that bank failures are caused by depositors not covering the losses of bank mismanagement and that sure came true. Fortunately, the government stepped in and forced every American to fill the void. Whew!

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  3. fudge_hendJune 25, 2015 at 9:51 AM

    In the immortal words of his great Quayleness.

    -The future will be better tomorrow.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Stagflationary MarkJune 25, 2015 at 9:57 AM

    fudge_hend,

    The future, better tomorrow, will be. Yes, hmmm.

    From one great master to another, Yoda agrees! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  5. fudge_hendJune 25, 2015 at 10:09 AM

    I've always thought Dan Quayle was more of Yogi Berra

    Which is Dan Quayle and which is Yogi Berra?

    - I didn’t really say everything I said.

    - We don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward.

    - I stand by all the misstatements that I've made

    - The future ain't what it used to be.

    - We made too many wrong mistakes.

    Bush should have had Yogi as a VP then at least he could have been useful for ceremonial first pitches and such.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Stagflationary MarkJune 25, 2015 at 9:18 PM

    fudge_hend,

    Damn! Tough quiz! Hahaha!! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  7. fudge_hendJune 26, 2015 at 8:19 AM

    Answers:

    Yogi
    Quayle
    Quayle
    Yogi
    Yogi

    ReplyDelete
  8. Stagflationary MarkJune 26, 2015 at 9:18 AM

    fudge_hend,

    It's like deja vu all over again! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousJune 26, 2015 at 11:18 PM

    http://www.snopes.com/politics/quotes/quayle.asp

    ReplyDelete
  10. Stagflationary MarkJune 28, 2015 at 1:10 PM

    Anonymous,

    This following group are Quayleisms: that is, comments widely attributed to the former Vice-President that were coined by humor writers as statements that sounded like something he might say rather than something he actually said:

    D'oh! Looks like I snagged two of them. Damn you Internet! ;)

    ReplyDelete