Sobering Advice for New Mothers

Speaking as a guy who is a huge fan of H.P. Lovecraft, I have some potentially lifesaving advice for new mothers:

Keep the fathers away from the babies!

July 21, 2015
Weighing fatherhood? Gaining a few pounds comes with the territory

Then comes parenthood — and with it, an average weight gain of roughly 3 to 5 pounds for a man who lives in the same home as his child.

Occam's razor

The principle states that among competing hypotheses that predict equally well, the one with the fewest assumptions should be selected. Other, more complicated solutions may ultimately prove to provide better predictions, but—in the absence of differences in predictive ability—the fewer assumptions that are made, the better.

Baby shows up. Father gains weight. Do the math.

why did my gerbils eat their babies?

Males tend to kill off the babies because it puts the mother back in heat. That way, he can mate with her again.

You really need to put the male in his own cage when there are babies around. Once they get the taste of meat, they never stop eating the babies, or even weaker cage-mates.

Please tell me that I did NOT just go there!! I did? Shame on me! Bad Mark! Bad! Bad! ;)