The Sarcasm Report v.260

September 19, 2016
USA Today: If Fed finally raises rates, here's how you'll feel it

Another issue is that there is a lot of liquidity in the financial sector at the moment. As that starts to ease we can expect increased competition for retail savings, and with increased competition comes better rates for savers.

Indeed. I'm really looking forward to all that increased competition. We can expect much higher rates once savers begin to withdraw the $11.3 trillion (and growing) from commercial banks, stuff it under their mattresses, then light their mattresses on fire.

Just need patience. As a side note, never been a better time to invest in lighter fluid and matches. That's a lot of liquidity that will soon mysteriously start to ease/burn.

Now, if we could just figure out a way to short the monetary printing presses and/or deposit glut directly. People claim that the Fed can print an infinite number of dollars at essentially no cost. What they don't realize is the power of saver arsonists to nearly infinitely undo all that good work, at least in theory.

What will cause the first match to be lit? A conspiracy theory involving listeria tainted greenbacks? Lettuce hope not!!