The Sarcasm Report v.160

May 16, 2012
Don't Let Debt Weigh Down Your Retirement

You don't have to be totally debt-free before your golden years, to be sure. But financial planners caution that too much red ink, and the wrong kinds, can diminish your standard of living.

This is exactly why financial planners are paid the big bucks!

In particular, try to wipe out credit card balances, advises Cunningham. Plastic usually carries the highest rates, now an average 15%. Since you're unlikely to get as high a return on your investments, you're better off taking a lump sum from savings to pay the bill.

I would bet that the average well above average investor can easily average 15% returns. It's so easy.

We start with some 0.0% I-Bonds. Add in some 2.80% 30-year treasuries and S&P 500 action. And finally, top it all off with some real estate for diversification. What could possibly go wrong?

So if your stash is in equities, you may want to let it ride.

Yes! That's exactly what we should be doing in retirement! Grandbaby needs new shoes!

Let It Ride (film)

Let It Ride is a 1989 comedy film. It stars Richard Dreyfuss as a normally unsuccessful habitual gambler who experiences a day in which he wins every bet he places.

Win every bet! Woohoo!

Let It Ride (card game)

Let It Ride is played at a relaxed pace relative to other casino card games, which has made it attractive to older players and to table game neophytes.

Attractive game for older players! Woohoo!

Urban Dictionary: Let it Ride

After winning money in a casino, taking your winnings and continuing to gamble with them instead of cashing out.

I won a thousand bucks in Vegas last night, but I lost it all after I let it ride.

Lost it all after we let it ride? Not going to happen! Feeling lucky!