Blood Bath & Beyond

Bed Bath & Beyond?

No, we're talking Sears again. Down another 12% today as I type this. Needless to say, it's a fresh 52-week low.

It isn't all bad news. I think I actually found the secret video of Eddie Lampert's turnaround story.



Granted, there isn't nearly as much turning as one might expect.

Sears Sheared Yet Again

Down about 10% today. Hit a fresh 52-week low.

If I didn't know better, and I felt that department stores weren't a good investment in this modern age, and I didn't have complete faith in Eddie Lampert, and I wasn't totally optimistic about the future, and I wasn't being sarcastic, then I'd start to suspect that there might be a long-term pattern forming here.

Good thing that I'm none of those things! D'oh!

Pillars of retail department store strength, baby. That's what I'm talking about. Again.

Stolen Tools Epidemic?

January 6, 2017
Deputy: Man stole work tools, then accidentally called boss

FAIRMONT, W.Va - Authorities say a man stole tools from his workplace at an auto repair shop and then accidentally called his boss as he tried to sell them.

Small world. Stanley Black & Decker may have just "stolen" tools from Sears and may someday try to sell them back.

January 5, 2017
Sears closing 150 stores, selling Craftsman in attempt to survive

The ailing retailer said Thursday that it had reached a deal to sell the tools brand to Stanley Black & Decker for a net present value of about $900 million, including future royalty payments.

For lovers of snark (and you know who you are), 2017 is getting off to a great start. Woohoo! ;)

Special thanks to a reader of this blog for pointing out the Sears news to me. Sears snark opportunities only come around every few weeks or so. Nearly missed one!

The Sarcasm Report v.273

Bloomberg: At $207,000, the Aston Martin Rapide S Is Not a Good Deal

Those making the federal minimum wage already know this, of course. Working 14+ years to buy the car ($7.25 per hour, 40 hour workweeks, 50 weeks per year) definitely isn't a good deal without an extended-term loan, 0% financing, and reduced-price underbody rust protection.