Invest an Hour

Invest an hour and boost trading confidence

That was in my inbox. It was from ETrade. Their stock was down 25% today and now trades at $2.60.

This is great news. Financial institutions are now willing to accept "time" deposits in leu of actual cash it seems. You invest an hour of your time and you'll be ready to take on Nobel Prize winning economists, professional day traders, umpteen hundred hedge fund managers, and a variety of high level management types with reams of insider information. With this boost in trading confidence, you simply can't lose!

That being said, I can boost your confidence right now. Why wait an hour? Behold the power of the Internet! If you are at a dinner party, someone asks you the meaning of a phrase such as in leu of, and you aren't quite sure of the exact definition, just say, "I think it has something to do with foreclosures." If you do this a few times you'll really start to feel more confident. You'll be making a great impression on those around you. You might even get a promotion.

Search the web for "in leu of"

First Hit: "Deed in leu of foreclosure??"

See how it works? Let's try again. If asked what the US Department of Housing and Urban Development was doing these days then I'd simply respond, "Foreclosures?"

Search the news for "US Department of Housing and Urban Development"

First Hit: United Way and HUD start foreclosure hotline

Don't believe me? Come on. It works every time. Ask me about Michigan election officials. Not knowing anything about that I'd simply say, "I'm fairly sure it has something to do with foreclosures."

Search News for "Michigan Election Officials

First Hit: Michigan officials: Foreclosure can't stop votes

That's how I generally run this blog, only the rules are changing. In the past I'd say it has something to do with illusions and prosperity. One must keep up with the times though if one intends to appear smart. Now I'd say it has something to do with foreclosures. Genius I tell you!

Beware the curve ball though. Once someone realizes what you are doing and that maybe, just maybe, you aren't quite as smart as you appear, then you'll want to switch from foreclosure to bankruptcy. For example, if someone was to ask you about "creative loafing" that's a clear indicator they are catching on. That's the time to switch! You'd respond, "That's not foreclosure! That's bankrupty thanks to our economy tanking!" Then do a hearty chuckle and wink to the ladies. You simply cannot lose at that point!

Search News for "creative loafing"

First Hit: Creative Loafing files for bankruptcy protection

“This is not a management issue. It’s strictly the economy tanking.”