The Crack Cocaine of Economics?

Fed's Fisher says protectionism equals "economic death"

"Protectionism is the crack cocaine of economics," Fisher told C-Span television in an interview for its "Washington Journal" program.

What? I thought that inflation was the crack cocaine of economics!

"It provides an immediate high that leads to economic death. We cannot afford to go down that route," said Fisher, who is not a voting member of the Fed's policy-setting committee this year.

Doesn't inflation provide an immediate high that leads to economic death? This is so confusing. After doing some more research I think I finally have it straight though.

Protectionism is the crack cocaine of economics.

Crack Cocaine

Crack cocaine is a substance that affects the brain chemistry of the user: causing euphoria, supreme confidence, loss of appetite, insomnia, alertness, increased energy, a craving for more cocaine, and potential paranoia (ending after use).

Inflation is the heroin of economics.

Heroin

Frequent and regular administration can quickly cause tolerance and dependence, and as such, heroin has a very high potential for addiction. If sustained use of heroin for as little as three days is stopped abruptly, withdrawal symptoms can appear.

Stimulus Packages are the methamphetamines of economics.

Methamphetamine

Over time, however, the effectiveness decreases, and users find that they need to take higher doses to get the same results; also that they have great difficulty functioning effectively without the drug.

So let's summarize where we are and where we are headed.

We were using economic heroin but then it was stopped abruptly. Oops! That's left us with some nasty withdrawal symptoms. We were then offered some economic metamphetamines and it did seem to help for a few months. Unfortunately, we had difficulty functioning without it. Therefore, we will be given much higher doses (to get the same results). If that doesn't make us feel better, we really don't want economic crack cocaine though. It will start with supreme confidence and deteriorate quickly into paranoia. We're in enough trouble already. We certainly don't need that to compound our problems.

This certainly makes a lot more sense now. That Dallas Federal Reserve President Richard Fisher sure knows his controlled economic substances. I'm sure glad he's in charge. I do have one question though. At what point do we enter rehab?

Drug rehabilitation

The general intent is to enable the patient to cease substance abuse, in order to avoid the psychological, legal, financial, social, and physical consequences that can be caused, especially by extreme abuse.