Government Records Indicate Little Risk

November 4, 2016
The Guardian: Diver may have found 'lost nuke' missing since cold war off Canada coast

Government records indicate that the lost bomb was a dummy and poses little risk of nuclear detonation, said a spokesperson.

I was under the impression that a dummy bomb poses zero risk of nuclear detonation. Oh, wait. I get it. Perhaps the Canadian spokesperson doesn't fully trust our government records?

Let me set the record straight for any Canadians who don't quite understand how things work in my country.

When my government says that there are weapons of mass destruction to be found or not found, you can trust that we will either find them or not.

In fact, you can always trust my government. Remember when Ben Bernanke's government records indicated that there was no housing bubble to go bust back in 2005?

Well, the Cubs just busted their record by winning the World Series! Housing had absolutely nothing to do with it! Yes! Bernanke, you're the man!