Attention China Miracle Growth Investors: No Need to Panic!!!

April 14, 2015
No Need to Panic About Weak China Exports

China’s exports were shockingly weak in March. We did not see that coming...

Please allow me to summarize.

1. Shockingly weak.
2. Did not see that coming.
3. No need to panic.

In other news, I seem to have tipped over a candle. The flames are rapidly spreading through the room. I should probably use my phone to call the fire department and then grab a fire extinguisher. But you know what? There's no need to panic. Might just as well finish this post first.

It's getting more difficult to see the screen now, what with all the black smoke. I'm turning up the brightness to compensate. Oh, yes. That worked wonderfully. Stay calm they say.

I'm starting to get a bit parched. *cough* Better head off into the kitchen and fix myself an ice cold lemonade. I swear it must be getting hotter. So happy summer is nearly here.

That's odd. There's a burning sensation on my right leg. Did not see that coming.  Perhaps a quick jog around the room will make it go away. Just bounced off the wall. How silly of me! And what is it with my flailing arms? Can't seem to stop. This must look quite comical to others. Better not head outside lest the neighbors see it. I can't think of anything more embarrassing.

Signing off now. Asprin is needed. I'll need to make it past two burning chairs and a couch to reach it. Wouldn't be wise to attempt it while typing. I need to stay focused on the goal and keep my wits about me. Don't worry. All is good. Safe and sane to the very end, and you can quote me on that.

Have a great day! Mine is filled with adventurous optimism, let me tell you! The world is my burning oyster!