The Fed's Piñata

August 4, 2015
Apple and interest rate jitters weigh on Wall Street

"The market is getting such a mixed bag of rhetoric from the Fed, it seems like the Fed isn't sure what it's going to do," said Jack Ablin, chief investment officer at BMO Private Bank in Chicago.

Silly Jack Albin. The Fed always knows exactly what it is going to do. That's why it inspires such confidence!

1. The Fed is going to have a meeting.
2. They will discuss the economy in great detail.
3. They will bring out the baseball bat.
4. One by one, they will place a blindfold on and start swinging.
5. Once the "mixed bag" piñata bull is hit, the candied rhetoric will rain down.
6. They'll eat the best bits, laugh a bit, and then put the rest in a press announcement.

You know, just like they always do. ;)