Friday, July 31, 2015

Quote of the Day

July 31, 2015
A $600 million coal mine just sold for less than $1

As seen in the comments:

Well done Obama this is one promise you kept jobs and tax dollars gone. - JAMES

Quote of the day? Not exactly.

Wait, so a Brazilian company and a Japanese company sell their Australian joint venture to an Australian miner and somehow Obama is tied in to it? - Gamer

Bingo! As a fellow gamer and firm believer that Obama cannot possibly be responsible for every bad thing that has ever happened, is happening, and will happen, I might be a tad biased though. Your call.

The Real Reason Samsung Is Cutting Its Prices

July 31, 2015
Samsung’s slashing Galaxy prices

Samsung has announced plans to slash prices on its Galaxy S6 and S6 Edge smartphones, indicating an effort to boost lagging smartphone sales.

That's the stated reason but those of us into conspiracy theories can certainly think up a better reason than that!

What if Janet Yellen secretly met with Samsung executives? What if she did so because she was very concerned about the impending hyperinflation predicted each and every year by shadowstats? What if she had obtained secret emails of these executives using our country's Patriot Act? What if these emails included pictures that these executives would not want to go public? What if she showed them a chart of silver starting in 2011? What if she claims responsibility for it? Tells them she also has compromising photos of silver company executives? Tells them she has vaults filled with pictures? And paintings? And drawings? And doodles? What if she also reminded these executives that the Fed can be a key player in corporate bailouts should the need ever arise? Could perhaps put in a few good words for them? What if there was a lot of winking and head nodding over a few other perks that could go their way? What if she pointed out what happened to JFK, Jimmy Hoffa, and Elvis? Followed it up with even more winking and head nodding? What if she showed a video of an alien autopsy? What if she said that it wasn't an alien at all, but rather a former foreign corporate executive who once crossed her? Then what?

Hey, just harmless questions. Somebody needs to ask them. Do I have any proof that this is why Samsung lowered its prices? No, I do not. I find that very suspicious and you should too. Why no proof? What are they trying to hide? ;)

Thursday, July 30, 2015

The Crock of @#$% Report v.020

July 27, 2015
Fortune: Student loan debt is not hurting America's housing market

The problem is, there isn’t any proof that higher student loan debt is actually causing young people to own homes at lower rates than they did in the past, or that the overall student loan burden is leading to a smaller share of first-time home buyers.

Agreed! $1.36 trillion in student loan debt is just the tiniest of straws. There's no proof that it is hurting the housing market camel in the slightest!

Do you want to know something else? There isn't any proof that can stop me from clicking on its subscribe link. Not one single shred of evidence! Might do it right now! Might do it tomorrow! There's just no telling how soon I might click on it. ;)

Great News for the Earth's Human Locusts!

July 30, 2015
World population: Quarter of Earth will be African in 2050

But the report notes that "[c]ontinued population growth until 2050 is almost inevitable, even if the decline of fertility accelerates."

The earth's food supply is apparently projected to be good for at least 35 more years! Woohoo!

Risk-free long-term human locust sustainability, baby. That's what I'm talking about.

Seattle's New 10-Year Plan to End Homelessness

July 27, 2015
More homeless people camping under Seattle's freeways

Sola Plumacher with the Department of Human Services in Seattle says homelessness has increased 21 percent this year over last.

21 percent? Tent and sleeping bag investors must be making out like bandits! No wonder the economy is booming!

It seems like things have gotten worse, not better since the city launched its 10-year effort to end homelessness in 2005.

The old plan probably involved crashing the housing market so that homes would become more affordable to all. If so, it was a good plan, especially with the starting point being the peak of the housing bubble. Unfortunately, the plan had some minor unintended consequences though. Who knew jobs would fall with housing prices?

This anonymous blogger has just discovered a new 10-year plan that the city is considering. I managed to get my hands on a secret document emailed from one city planner to another. It includes the following copy of a proposed advertisement suitable for all Minnesota newspapers.

Attention All Dentists:

Is the thrill of hunting lions not as strong as it once was? Looking to up your game in a safe environment free from judging eyes? Then please consider Seattle! Starting August 1st, we are adding a "big game" designation to our growing homeless population in the hopes of attracting expert hunters with strong dentistry backgrounds to help cull our herd.

No permits needed! No drudging through jungles or walking endlessly over plains required. Our big game is located within just a few feet of convenient freeway off ramps! It will be like shooting fish in a barrel! It just doesn't get any more sporting than that!

Do you have what it takes? Will you shoot anything that moves? Even the ones with tracking collars? Will you sever their heads, extract their teeth, and scan them so that we can identify them through their dental records. We need that information to notify their next of kin and bill them for services rendered.

Please consider Seattle for your next wildlife expedition! You won't be disappointed and near as we can tell, it will all be perfectly legal! Maybe! Just be sure to hunt only at night and silently slip away if there's trouble. We do not want a repeat of any recent African adventures. A good hunter must understand the meaning of patience.

Shame on me! Bad Mark! Bad! Bad!

The Ills of More Affordable Housing Are Far from Cured!

July 30, 2015
More homeowners drowning in debt

Home prices are still rising, and the economy is improving, but the ills of the housing crash are far from cured...

Just Added Vacationing in Spain to My Bucket List!

Why? Missed the opportunity to visit Germany from 1933 to 1945!

That said, if you are employed in the Spanish tourism industry then do not hold your breath anxiously awaiting my arrival. I'm not planning to go unless four conditions are met.

1. I have been diagnosed with a terminal disease.
2. I have exhausted my retirement savings.
3. I have less than two weeks to live.
4. I have at least a 50% chance of surviving long enough to reach the front steps of your Ministry of Truth.

I'll be looking to drop off a human fecal sample for the benefit of all mankind!! ;)

July 30, 2015
Mish: Police State "Ministry of Truth" Hits Spain; Man Fined for Calling Police "Slackers" on Facebook

The Wisdom of Alan Greenspan Revealed Yet Again

July 30, 2015
Alan Greenspan: This is 'extremely dangerous'

However, he noted that he sees a "strong and growing labor market" despite concerns about productivity growth.

Fred: I heard your team had to hire another programmer. Is that true?
Ted: Yeah, it's true.
Fred: Despite the lack of productivity growth of your existing programmers?
Ted: Despite? Why would you think that? No, more like because. I had to hire BECAUSE there was a productivity problem.
Fred: How so? I don't get it.
Ted: Since I couldn't get the programmers to work any faster, I was forced to hire more of them.
Fred: I don't understand. I just read that the economy has a strong and growing labor market despite concerns about productivity growth.
Ted: What idiot thought that crackpot economic theory up?
Fred: Just some former central banker.
Ted: Ah, sounds like something Alan Greenspan might say.
Fred: Damn you are smart! I'm going to give you a 5% raise!
Ted: I accept on one condition.
Fred: What's that?
Ted: I will not be working 5% longer hours!
Fred: F%^k! I was looking to pay for it with a productivity miracle!