Elondriel’s Next Motivational Speech

In place of Twitter you would have a King! Not dark but beautiful and terrible as the seven cent Doge! Treacherous as the SpaceX! Stronger than the foundations of Tesla! All shall love me and despair!

Cancel Cultured Redux

November 17, 2022
The Guardian: Twitter user gets account back after ban for ‘intimate’ image of meteor

“It was not offensive or pornographic at all,” said McIntyre. “It was just a meteor.”

Been there, done that. It was just a puppy! It was just a circle! Ignorance of the social media law is no defense.

The social media law could not be any more clear. Do not post content that could potentially offend any human, either real or imagined.

Here is a concrete example of what not to post:

Very offensive. Don't do that. ;)

Metaverse Real Estate Gallows Humor

As seen in the image below, I just did an Internet search for "metaverse real estate prices" and I feel the need to share the results.

It's a rare treat to stumble upon such a rewarding gem. Do I keep searching? Do I read the two articles that I found? No, I'm good. I think my questions have been fully answered, lol.

This search was inspired by today's tweet from @MacroAlf:

Thoughts and prayers to people who took a mortgage to buy real estate in the Metaverse.

Mark Twain once said, "Buy land, they're not making it anymore." Too bad he's not still around to offer his thoughts on imaginary land, lol.

Swamp Cooler for Sale

This is the current weather forecast for where I live in Western Washington. I've lived in this home for more than 24 years and have never seen a more dire weather report. July and August are our hottest months, averaging roughly 78 degrees for a high. This is June and a whopping 111 is possible, if not likely.

This is our new homemade swamp cooler. It was built using a styrofoam cooler, 2 leaf blower elbow attachments, and a personal fan. Holds 16+ pounds of ice. Won't cool a room but does offer some relief if sitting in front of it. Designed for two. Each nozzle can be rotated independently.

Current estimated retail value in a world where bitcoin trades at $30k+ (and air conditioning units are in short supply) is conservatively estimated to be $15k+. That's just half a bitcoin for this truly unique and rare limited edition item. Not saying that you should embrace FOMO (fear of missing out) here, but the manufacturer will not be making many more. And don't forget to YOLO (you only live once). Item will be available on or after Tuesday. Free shipping! Personalized handwritten thank you note from the designer included with every purchase! ;)

The Sarcasm Report v.285

Love this advertisement. Let's zoom in for a closer look.

South Park is using obsolete old school thinking. Why limit yourself to a 100% loss? Leverage up! A 459.66% loss for the win! 20 million people can't be wrong!!

Guard Dog Training

River barks nonstop when trucks deliver packages to our home (or a neighbor's home), but patiently watches when trucks remove packages from our home (or a neighbor's home).

I don't mean to brag, but I think we've done an exceptional job with her training. Perhaps I should write a book? Hahaha! :)

The Sarcasm Report v.281

Some are arguing that there may be excess speculation in the markets, but I take comfort in the bitcoin to GameStop stock price ratio. It’s really starting to stabilize.

Standing Back and Standing Down

We'll be standing back and standing down for at least 4 years! Woohoo!

P.S. Best election year ever. 🙂

Best (Nosedive) in Show!

It Burns

It burns. Hahaha!!! :)

The One Flaw in My Thanksgiving Day Plan

How To Look Like Gerard Butler in the Movie 300

To build muscle, cut body fat, and have enough energy to train for six hours a day, he had to eat:

* Insane amounts of protein (which can be found in eggs, grilled chicken, tuna and other fish, steak, protein shakes, and protein bars),

I naturally assumed that eating insane amounts of protein would be the hardest part and that training for six hours a day would therefore be relatively easier.

Turns out, in hindsight, that eating insane amounts of turkey was a lot easier than it looked. The more I ate, the more confident in the plan I became!

Unfortunately, six hours of physical training became nearly impossible once the completely unexpected napping began. Blindsided by a 25-sigma event black swan!!

Live and learn! :)

Abercrombie Is Ditch'd

November 18, 2016
USA Today: Shoppers snub Abercrombie as sales plunge

Down 15% as I type this.

In the comments, Progressive Political Views, if indeed that is his/her real name says:

I'm glad to see that there are significant numbers of people beginning to recognize the materialistic ideology that is at the center of our culture. We value 'stuff' and throw away people, when it should be the other way around.

Baby steps. First we need to value people as stuff and not needlessly throw them away.



I did NOT just go there!!

Shame on me. Bad Mark. Bad! Bad!

The Gap Gaps

The Gap is gapping down 13% today as I type this.

Many would search the news to find out why. I just wanted an amusing headline. Sorry.

Well, since you are here anyway I might just as well offer an opinion, the opinion of Karen S. reviewing their Redmond, Washington location.

Don't recommend this gap location mainly because of the negative customer service I've received here. One of the managers, a lady with shorter hair, spoke to me with an extremely condescending tone and was almost rude when I asked her a question. Ruined my experience there. Definitely do not appreciate this type of service, won't be returning to this gap location.

One person found it funny. I did too! I don't know who you are Karen, but I admire your style. If the extremely condescending tone didn't qualify as almost rude, then our imaginations run wild with the thoughts of what is! Hahaha! :)

A Simple Plan to Unite This Country

Let's get the discussion going by talking more about politics, religion, money, race, and sex. Simultaneously!

These topics are all fresh in our minds! Thanksgiving dinner is just a few weeks away! The timing is perfect! What's the worst that could happen?



Hey, I never claimed it was a good plan, just a simple one. ;)

Government Records Indicate Little Risk

November 4, 2016
The Guardian: Diver may have found 'lost nuke' missing since cold war off Canada coast

Government records indicate that the lost bomb was a dummy and poses little risk of nuclear detonation, said a spokesperson.

I was under the impression that a dummy bomb poses zero risk of nuclear detonation. Oh, wait. I get it. Perhaps the Canadian spokesperson doesn't fully trust our government records?

Let me set the record straight for any Canadians who don't quite understand how things work in my country.

When my government says that there are weapons of mass destruction to be found or not found, you can trust that we will either find them or not.

In fact, you can always trust my government. Remember when Ben Bernanke's government records indicated that there was no housing bubble to go bust back in 2005?

Well, the Cubs just busted their record by winning the World Series! Housing had absolutely nothing to do with it! Yes! Bernanke, you're the man!

Retired Air Force Colonel Lloyd Menninger for President

Straight shooter. Calls it like he sees it. Not afraid to speak his mind. ;)

Quote of the Day

We think everyone here is a risk manager. Whether it’s your official title or not, everything we do is a part of that.

- Former Wells Fargo CEO John Stumpf, November 6, 2015

More Evidence That All Things Financial Eventually Lead to Monty Python

October 4, 2016
Barron's: Increasing Interest In Bond EFTs Could Keep Costs Down

Investors poured $95 billion into fixed income ETFS in the first eight months of this year, up from the $87 billion for all of 2015, according to research from iShares provider BlackRock (BLK).

Exchange Traded Fund (ETF)? Electronic Funds Transfer (EFT)? Terrestrial juvenile phase of a newt (eft)? Hey, it's all good!



She turned me into a newt [eft]. I got better [past the headline].

Idiom: little things please little minds?

Guilty as charged. I find much amusement in the little things.

I actually feel sorry for people who need bigger and bigger things to amuse them. That's especially true, in our debt-ridden society, if they need to borrow more and more money to pay for those bigger and bigger things. Go figure.

Today's Clichébait

October 3, 2016
Yahoo Finance: Will Retailers Fire on All Cylinders this Holiday Season?

1. gearing up
2. goes without saying
3. leave no stone unturned
4. well on their toes
5. flooding the markets
6. sweep buyers off their feet
7. grab every opportunity

The headline had me hook, line, and sinker. Not bad for just the first two paragraphs of the article either, but keeping the cliché pace up was easier said than done. Perhaps they shouldn't have put all their eggs in one basket? When it comes to clichés, they bit off more than they could chew. Won't see me follow my heart and jump on the bandwagon. No, sir. That dog don't hunt.

Bad Mark. Bad! Bad! Hahaha! :)

Word of the Day

September 13, 2016
Business Insider: It keeps getting worse for Wells Fargo

The thinking is that targeted goals for opening accounts and generating fees lead employees to cur corners and open the account fradualently.

When a lender's fraud is "twice" as bad as it seems?

Fradualent!

Fraudulent slip, lack of spell checking, and/or silly puns? You make the call! ;)