Three Examples of Premature Crisis Management

It's totally premature to speak of a crisis in China. - Carlo Cottarelli, IMF Executive Director, August 22, 2015

You cannot speak of a crisis.- Rafael Pacheco, Housing Director, Spanish Government, October, 2007

I met a girl at a bar and we ended up at her place.

I said, "I'm not very experienced and you are incredibly attractive. I should warn you that I can tend to be a bit premature in that situation, if you know what I mean."

She smiled and said, "We'll take it very slow. How premature do you think you will be?"

I replied, "Well, do you remember the last thing you said to me at the bar?"

She said, "I asked you over to my place for sex?"

"Yes, you did. I don't mean to blame you for the current crisis, but were those last two words of your question really necessary? Had I known you would say them, I would have been thinking of baseball!"

Shame on me. Bad Mark! Bad! Bad! Hahaha! :)

An Inconvenient Truth: With Gore, the Bulls Will Run

August 17, 2015
Four men gored to death by bulls in Spain in three days

Politics? No.
Stock market? No.

Darwin awards, baby. That's what I'm talking about. Nothing will make a person feel more alive than willingly being gored to death on the streets of Spain.

Just Added Vacationing in Spain to My Bucket List!

Why? Missed the opportunity to visit Germany from 1933 to 1945!

That said, if you are employed in the Spanish tourism industry then do not hold your breath anxiously awaiting my arrival. I'm not planning to go unless four conditions are met.

1. I have been diagnosed with a terminal disease.
2. I have exhausted my retirement savings.
3. I have less than two weeks to live.
4. I have at least a 50% chance of surviving long enough to reach the front steps of your Ministry of Truth.

I'll be looking to drop off a human fecal sample for the benefit of all mankind!! ;)

July 30, 2015
Mish: Police State "Ministry of Truth" Hits Spain; Man Fined for Calling Police "Slackers" on Facebook

I'm Looking to Secure $1 Billion in Crowdfunding to Build Spanish Ghost Ship Armada

You cannot lose! I guarantee that you'll get at least some of your money back! Maybe even $1 for every $110,000 you invest!

And if this investment is successful, and I know it will be, then I'll be looking to secure another billion dollars to build a Spanish ghost harbor near the closest Spanish ghost airport! You know, to maximize the undead logistics and stuff. That's right FedEx, I'm gunnin' for you!

The possibilities are endless! Ghost airships? There goes another billion! Yes! Spanish undead steampunk, baby. That's what I'm talking about.

Do not let this opportunity pass you by!

July 18, 2015
Costly Spanish 'ghost airport' gets 1 meager bid at auction

MADRID (AP) — One of Spain's "ghost airports" — expensive projects that were virtually unused — received just one bid in a bankruptcy auction after costing some 1.1 billion euros ($1.2 billion) to build. The buyer's offer: 10,000 euros.

Spain's Chart of the Day (Musical Tribute)

Click to enlarge.



Source Data:
St. Louis Fed: Harmonized Index of Consumer Prices: Actual Rentals for Housing for Spain

The Sarcasm Report v.173

November 14, 2012
RPT-CORRECTED-UPDATE 1-Congress, Obama face dynamite in 'fiscal cliff' -CEOs

A failure in Washington to solve the crisis by the year's end could prompt major companies to curtail investment plans, said Duncan Niederauer, CEO of NYSE Euronext, operator of the New York Stock Exchange.

"We simply won't be investing in the United States. We will be investing elsewhere where we have more certainty of the outcome," Niederauer said in an interview.

If certainty of the outcome is all that matters then Europe seems the perfect place to invest! Or perhaps China? Rain or shine, their official numbers always seem fantastic!

Sandy Cutler, CEO of manufacturer Eaton Corp, shared his concern.

"Until we solve the fiscal issues (in the United States and Europe), you're not going to get back to normal GDP growth," Cutler told investors on Tuesday.

Normal GDP growth? What a hoot!

July 27, 2012
Real GDP Growth per Capita


Click to enlarge.

Step right up! We're running a special on old normals and new normals! Borrow the money to buy the old normal at the regular price and get a new normal at that same low price!

Fracaso de Tendencia Exponencial!

Here's the exponential trend failure of the day. Spanish style!


Click to enlarge.

It looks like Spain's party ended about the same time ours did. Shocking!

See Also:
Mish: Problems in Spain: Revenues Collapse, State Spends Nearly Twice as Much as Revenues Collected in First Half

Source Data:
St. Louis Fed: Passenger Car Registrations in Spain

One Picture Fully Explains the Euro Crisis

A friend sent me the following link today.

June 21, 2012
The euro crisis, in one picture

The Pain in Spain (Musical Tribute)

October 1, 2007
Spain's Pain?

Spain has reassured us all that any adjustment is ridiculous, unthinkable, completely out of the question, that they have one of the most efficient financial systems in the world, and that it is immensely solid as well. Why worry?


Click to enlarge.



See Also:
David Taguas vs. Vizzini
Rafael Pacheco vs. Ash
Europe vs. Ash

Source Data:
St. Louis Fed: Total Retail Trade in Spain

The Sarcasm Report v.138

May 27, 2010
Pros See Opportunities in Battered European Stocks

Italy has a smaller fiscal deficit than either Ireland or Spain, for example, so it will probably have less cost-cutting—with a less pronounced impact on economic growth.

Here's a chart of Italy's stock market since the opportunities appeared.

Simple Advice for Zapatero

November 26, 2010
PM Zapatero says no chance Spain will need bailout

MADRID (AP) — Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero said Friday there was no chance Spain would seek a bailout.

Have you considered avoiding the use of the word "bailout" for a few weeks? That might work.

July 15, 2008
Spain's Crisis

Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero has admitted that the economy has entered into a 'crisis,' after avoiding that word for weeks.

August 13, 2008
The State of Denial

Zapatero belatedly used the word "crisis" to describe the country's situation last month, touching a nerve with Spaniards...

Okay, okay. Maybe that won't work. Let's try a different angle instead.

Perhaps you could let Rafael Pacheco and David Taguas do all the talking? They both had economic denial down to a dismal science. Perhaps they've still got the touch.

Fine Print Disclaimer:

A sarcastic reference to "they've still got the touch" might mean "touching a nerve" but certainly not a nerve within one's "junk". We're talking about "proud" Spaniards here, not "patriotic" Americans.

A sarcastic reference to "patriotic" is intended for those who see themselves as defenders "against presumed interference by the federal government" especially in regards to "individual rights". It is not intended for TSA workers or those who voted for the Patriot Act.

The Sarcasm Report v.59 (Musical Tribute)

Deflation Risks Not Worth Hype

Deflation may be unlikely, but if it occurred, the consequences could be dire, and not just because of the direct economic impact. It would make dollars worth even more in the future, magnifying the U.S. government's surging debt burden. That could be the unspoken fear behind all that nervous talk.

There's nothing quite like an unspoken fear to generate plenty of hype. As we all know, the unspoken word of mouth can spread like wildfire.



That Which Must Not Be Named (in Spain)

You cannot speak of a crisis. - Rafael Pacheco, October 2007

To talk about severe adjustments or a meltdown in prices is ridiculous. - David Taguas, September 2007

Look, maybe I didn't say every tiny syllable, no. But basically I said them, yeah. - Ash, Army of Darkness, 1992

The Free-Money Tsunami

Free-Money Tsunami Provokes Rush to Control Cash: William Pesek

Gone are the days when central banks were truly independent. Can you imagine if the Fed raised short rates this month? U.S. lawmakers would probably send a SWAT team to bring in Bernanke. Imagine if Trichet tightened policy at a time when Greece is being downgraded to junk and Spain is on the brink. The United Nations might have to get involved to save the euro zone from itself.

Get Used to Zero

Nor does anyone expect the Bank of Japan to surprise markets. Central bankers are stuck near zero for some time. That’s the problem with using all your ammunition. It’s hard to reload when credit markets are still malfunctioning and demand for credit is scarce.







The 20-Year isn't buckling yet, but it sure is trying.

This is America though. We're not just some third world country. We should keep that in mind. It would take an epic financial disaster to make this economy bad for 20 more years (in addition to the last 10 years of course).

The bond market doesn't think we're about to hyperinflate. That's pretty good news for those of us who are savers (not so good for those in debt). Of course, that might end up being too much of a good thing if we slide back down into the deflationary abyss.



I continue to believe that we cannot borrow our way back to prosperity. It did not work for Japan. It did not work for us in 2004. It won't work for us now. We cannot fix long-term structural problems with short-term cyclical solutions.

See Also:
Trend Line Disclaimer

Source Data:
FRB: Selected Interest Rates
U.S. Treasury: Daily Treasury Yield Curve

Today's Stock Market (Musical Tribute)

Interest rates plummet as investors seek safety

NEW YORK (AP) -- Treasury prices soared Friday, pushing interest rates lower, as investors sought shelter from the latest market turmoil caused by worries over Europe's economy.

Traders are dumping stocks and other risky assets because of concerns that the deep spending cuts being called for in countries like Greece, Spain and Portugal will slow down a recovery in Europe. The Dow Jones industrial average lost about 170 points and crude oil was down 4 percent.

It's getting a bit out of control. Perhaps fat fingered day traders were using their claws to make lycanthropic disorders on their terminals today.



The S&P 500 closed today at 1,135.68. It might be a while before we can cross the Rubicon and retest the Maginot Line again.

Europe vs. Ash

For those just tuning in, this was Part I.

October 19, 2007
Rafael Pacheco vs. Ash

You cannot speak of a crisis. - Rafael Pacheco, Housing Director, Spanish Government

Look, maybe I didn't say every tiny syllable, no. But basically I said them, yeah. - Ash, Army of Darkness, 1992

This is Part II.

'Insane' fears plague Spain

The Spanish prime minister José Luis Rodriguez Zapatero, angrily dismissed the rumour as “complete insanity”. Speaking in Brussels, he also worried that market rumours were damaging his country’s interests, calling them “absolutely intolerable”. The IMF also strongly denied the rumour.

Oh that's just what we call pillow talk, baby, that's all. - Ash, Army of Darkness, 1992

Politicians believe that massive EU-IMF bailout has helped the banks because it has reduced the likelihood that Greece will default on its debt, leaving them facing massive losses on their holdings of Greek bonds. As a result, the politicians believe the banks should reciprocate by continuing to lend to Greece.

Maybe. Just maybe my boys can protect the book. Yeah, and maybe I'm a Chinese jet pilot. - Ash, Army of Darkness, 1992

That Which Must Not Be Named (in Spain)

October 19, 2007
Rafael Pacheco vs. Ash

The Spanish Government yesterday played down fears of a crash. Rafael Pacheco, the Housing Director, said the figures showed that Spain was experiencing a “gradual and gentle landing for house prices. You cannot speak of a crisis,” he said.

That was then. This is now.

April 24, 2009
Unemployment in Spain Hits 17.4%

“These figures are bad and worse than expected,” the finance minister, Elena Salgado, said. The sharp quarterly increase was a sign of “how severe and how deep the crisis is,” she said.

Nobody expects the...



I'm sorry. That joke never gets old to me.

Here's an update. I found another gem from the past. That which must not be thought!

September 18, 2007
David Taguas vs. Vizzini

``To talk about severe adjustments or a meltdown in prices is ridiculous,'' Taguas said in response to reports pointing to an end of the Spanish real estate boom. ``That sort of crisis is unthinkable.''

Here's yet another gem.

Septebmer 19, 2007
The Sarcasm Report v.10

Spanish officials have furiously denied reports that the country’s property market is heading for a crash or that a clutch of banks may be in the same boat as Northern Rock.

That which must be furiously denied!

The Crisis That Keeps on Giving (Musical Tribute)

July 15, 2008
Spain's Crisis

You cannot speak of a crisis. - Rafael Pacheco, Housing Director, Spanish Government, October, 2007



January 6, 2009
Spain Dec service activity second worst on record

Spain's unemployment rate was the highest in the European Union in October and some analysts expected it to rise to close to 20 percent by 2010 as the economy sinks into recession.

How could things possibly get any worse? Surely this must mean the bottom is in. Let's embrace risk again! Woohoo! And when I say we should embrace risk again, I mean 30-1 leverage, baby! That way, if the stock markets of the world rise 1% as the global economy continues to implode, we'll be making 30%. In fact, we'll NEED to make 30%. How else can we make up for the pension losses?

"Any slight optimism seems largely based on wishful thinking, while it seems clear that conditions will continue to worsen in the first quarter of 2009 at least," Harker said.

Don't you know it! I'm basing it 100% on wishful thinking! Everywhere the sun is shining. All around the world it's shining. How can there possibly be a global Great Depression with so much sunlight? I've seen footage of the Great Depression. That was all black and white. It was also quite grainy. Now we have a glut of High Definition color. This is SO not the Great Depression. It is so much prettier than that!

That being said, why do cold winds blow across my mind? Confusion? That would be a terrible shame. Confusion? Look, there's a slight risk I don't know what I'm sayin'. Who knows!

Panic Revisited (Musical Tribute)

`Tectonic' Market Shift as Lehman Fails, Merrill Sold (Update1)

• Balked
• Ballooned
• Bankruptcy
• Breaking
• Breathtaking
• Carnage
• Chain Reaction
• Collapse
• Convulsions
• Criticism
• Cut-Price
• Detiorating
• Dimmed
• Dropped Out
• Eliminated
• Emergency
• Erasing
• Extinction
• Failing
• Fail
• Fails
• Flawed
• Great Depression
• Liquidation
• Lose
• Loss
• Losses
• Painful
• Pressure
• Push Down
• Refused
• Repercussions
• Shaken
• Silliness
• Sold
• Swirled
• Tectonic
• Thrust Into Reverse
• Trouble
• Tumbles
• Ugly
• Unable
• Under Seige
• Undermined
• Unwinding
• Vaporized
• Wipes Out

See Also:
Don't Panic
Don't Panic Revisited

The State of Denial

Clouds over the Spanish economy

Zapatero belatedly used the word "crisis" to describe the country's situation last month, touching a nerve with Spaniards who have not suffered a significant economic recession since the big downturn following the Barcelona Olympics in 1992.

"There was a state of denial," said Roger Cook, managing director for Spain at Cushman & Wakefield in Madrid. "There was not an appreciation that this was not a slowdown, but a serious crisis."

See Also:
Spain's Economy Revisited

Spain's Crisis

Bankruptcy of property firm adds to Spain's economic woes (Roundup)

Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero has admitted that the economy has entered into a 'crisis,' after avoiding that word for weeks.

Weeks? Surely it has been months at the very least.

Rafael Pacheco vs. Ash

You cannot speak of a crisis. - Rafael Pacheco, Housing Director, Spanish Government, October, 2007