Tuesday, April 11, 2017

A Corporate Pledge of Allegiance

I pledge no allegiance to the CEO of the United Airlines of America, and to the corporation for which he stands, as one "volunteer" under duress, divisible, gets no liberty or justice at all.

April 10, 2017
Time: Searches for 'Volunteer' Definition Spiked 1900% After United Airlines Incident

In the case of Sunday evening’s United Airlines Flight 3411 from Chicago to Louisville, passengers had already boarded the plane and no one was willing to volunteer for the switch, passenger Audra Bridges told the Courier-Journal. United officials then randomly selected four passengers to switch flights to make way for four United employees who had to catch a flight in Louisville.

Perhaps United should have increased the incentive to "volunteer" until some passengers actually "volunteered" willingly?

Pretty crazy idea, I admit. But hey, in an age of cell phone video and PR nightmares, what do I know?

They say there's no such thing as bad publicity. United sure seems hellbent to test the theory lately!

Oh, and when I say hellbent, I really mean recklessly determined at all costs. Perfect word for the perfect airline.


Stagflationary Mark said...

Hilarious tweet! Hahaha!!

dearieme said...

United was quite moderate. They didn't launch a single cruise missile at the recalcitrant doctor.

Stagflationary Mark said...


While I would love to praise the airline for its moderation, I suspect that the lack of a cruise missile response was simply a cost-cutting measure. The ground troops, um, I mean airport security officers, were relatively cheap and expendable.

mab said...

I think they should have stung that belligerent passenger with a scorpion before dragging him off.

Also, since the passenger didn't volunteer, there's no reason to give him the incentive. None!

Stagflationary Mark said...


When I saw that a scorpion may have stung a passenger I automatically assumed the worst. I felt a bit silly thinking that it would actually fit in the overhead compartment though. Only a bit, since I've seen people attempt to jam in luggage almost as big!

Who Struck John said...

Fly United. We put the hospital in hospitality.

Stagflationary Mark said...

Who Struck John,

United's New Policy

The first two rules should fix everything.