Monday, September 29, 2008

Panic Monday (Musical Tribute)

Let's go acoustic. Electric guitars would be overkill.



Six o'clock already
I was just in the middle of a dream
I was sellin' J.P. Morgan
With a crystal bluetooth headset scream
But I sold too late
And it seems that I just won't get paid
These are the days
When I knew my bed was already made

It's just another panic Monday
I wish it was Sunday
'Cause that's my pun day
My lack of bank run day
It's just another panic Monday

Have to catch an early train
Got to be laid off by nine
And I just bought an air-o-plane
Still can't make the payments on time
I've been leveraged so long
Hard to figure out what I'm gonna swear
Blame it on the game
But the loss is already there

It's just another panic Monday
I wish it was Sunday
'Cause that's my pun day
My lack of bank run day
It's just another panic Monday

Reality bites
Why did my broker have to buy last night?
It tanked down
Doesn't it matter?
That he is fooling the both of us
Employment's down
He sells me with his banking voice
"C'mon sonny, you should buy the dips"
Cash it goes so fast
It's quite worrisome

It's just another panic Monday
I wish it was Sunday
'Cause that's my pun day
My lack of bank run day
It's just another panic Monday


Wall Street panic hits New Yorkers hard

A flood of somber, dejected-looking bankers and investors poured out of the Stock Exchange Monday after a Congressional bailout plan failed, sinking the Dow Jones industrials to historic lows.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

"sinking the Dow Jones industrials to historic lows": oh what tripe.

Anonymous said...

Stag,

http://finance.yahoo.com/echarts?s=%5ETWII#chart1:symbol=^twii;range=my;indicator=volume;charttype=line;crosshair=on;ohlcvalues=0;logscale=on;source=undefined

This chart of the Taiwan stock market is informative. Taiwan is a developed nation. It could be argued that Taiwan is a nation that was/is uniquely positioned to profit from the economic emergence of Asia and globalization.

Here's to hope that growth equals profits/prosperity.

There are no guarantees.

Anonymous said...

Stag,

It's just another panic Monday
I wish it was Sunday
'Cause that's my pun day
My lack of bank run day
It's just another panic Monday


If I didn't know better, I'd think you were PUNtificating.

BTW, you really might want to consider a new name for your blog. The illusion is over. last night, every "news" and talk show was centered on the "economic crisis."

I really had to laugh at Bill O'Reilly though. Mr. no spin conserative was literally begging for a bailout while while trashing democrats as socialists.

Good Grief! I'll be lucky to escape this mess with just one kidney.

Stagflationary Mark said...

dearime,

"sinking the Dow Jones industrials to historic lows": oh what tripe.

Didn't you get the memo? Historic is now measured using a stopwatch, not a calendar. This is the modern era! It's different this time!!

Stagflationary Mark said...

MAB,

Good Grief! I'll be lucky to escape this mess with just one kidney.

Real yields continue to rise. I'm in awe of momentum investing. It seems to be taking on a life of its own.

If I didn't know better, I'd think you were PUNtificating.

Good thing you know better!! ;)

At the RATE we're going we'll be forced to PUNt on the next down leg in the fabled 4th quarter recovery. There's still millions of (back) yards of ground to COVER. Hail Mary isn't really an OPTION, even with a strong ARM! On the other hand (using the non-throwing ARM), coming up SHORT was banned. The quarter's back to fiat and the entire team is worried about being SACKED (for SAFETY).

I'm sure that's exactly what the housing market needs though: higher real yields tempting cash on the sidelines to stay PUT.

These are INTERESTing times in DEEDS!

Safety
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safety_(football_score)

Also, before the NFL changed its rules in the early 1970s to move the goalposts to the back of the end zone, an ‘automatic’ safety was scored against the offense if the ball in play (i.e., a pass, punt, or otherwise) touched the goalposts.

As long as government and Wall Street keeps moving the goalposts using 1970s technology, we should be fine. I think the posts are currently in China.

Anonymous said...

Stag,

Hail Mary isn't really an OPTION, even with a strong ARM!

You're absolutely right. Things are so bad even a Hail Mary doesn't stand a prayer.

Everything will still work out though. They have a new trick play: The Bail Mary

Stagflationary Mark said...

MAB,

The Bail Mary

LOL!!!

We can't even use the NICKLE defense.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nickel_(United_States_coin)

As of December 14, 2006, the value of the metal in a United States nickel coin reached USD$0.055759, an 11.5% premium over its face value.[4] This was due to the rising costs of copper and nickel[5] and the U.S. Dollar losing its value. In an attempt to avoid losing large quantities of circulating nickels to melting, the United States Mint introduced new interim rules on December 14, 2006 criminalizing the melting and export of cents and nickels. Violators of these rules can be punished with a fine of up to $10,000, five years imprisonment, or both.[6]

The optimists would point out that the $10,000 isn't adjusted for inflation. Should bread cost $10,000 a loaf someday that fine might just be a slap on the wrist.

I'm a bit of an optimist too today. Maybe our problems won't get TACKLED. Then again, I'm PASSING over here on the SIDELINES. The OFFICIALS keep hitting me with I-Bonds OUT OF BOUNDS PENALTIES though. They really want me back in the game.

Stagflationary Mark said...

dearieme,

I found some more evidence to back my claim.

This is historic times. — George Bush, April 20, 2004

Sigh.

Anonymous said...

Stag,

They really want me back in the game.

It seems they don't want you just sitting back CLIPPING coupons.

As far as fighting deflation, beware of the two minute WARning. A HIKE in national DEFENSE spending is inflationary and easily justifiable. OVERTIME, that would ease our OFFENSIVE debt burden.

We'll SEA how HAWKish the next administration is. Hopefully, they won't foolishly RUSH into things like drunk TEXAN COWBOYS. No telling what their CHIEF concern will be though. I suspect they will not be so friendly to the corporate RAIDERS and the JET set crowd.

Hopefully the above wasn't too much inside baseball.

Stagflationary Mark said...

MAB,

Hopefully the above wasn't too much inside baseball.

BAG holders hope there will be another WILD PITCH involving 700 billion dollar bailouts. They were CAUGHT LOOKING during the congressional CHANGE UP. A FOUL LINE was seemingly crossed. Nobody thought Congress would have the BALLS to reject the bailout. Even though the stock market was up today, I BALK at the idea that we've completely DUGOUT of this economic crisis. On the other hand, perhaps yesterday's panic was just an ERROR and investors were merely FORCED OUT.

There's a SHORTSTOP back to prosperity today it seems, but I just don't see many wINNING this game in the long RUN. I took an INTENTIONAL WALK away rather than SACRIFICE my nest egg. There was too much HEAT. I may appear to be SAFE at the moment, but that might change once more people are OUT of jobs as the unemployment LINE-UPs.

I'm confident that foreCLOSERS will STEAL HOMEs in the coming days should the economy continue to SLIDE. The SIGNS are there. It will be a real SINKER if people actually begin to SAVE money instead of RUN DOWN to their local Denny's for a GRAND SLAM breakfast. Heaven forbid they attempt to go on STRIKE. That would be a SUICIDE SQUEEZE PLAY since billions of Chinese are looking to have a WHIFF of our standard of living.

This isn't a PERFECT GAME. Almost any OUTcome is possible. Probably not the best time to start a DONUT business though. Things can turn FOUL pretty fast. I can't even COUNT how many DINGERS are possible in this environment. Bartender, make it a DOUBLE. I'm getting all CHOKED-UP just thinking about it.

Anonymous said...

Stag,

This isn't a PERFECT GAME. Almost any OUTcome is possible.

FIRST, you've reminded me of a harrowing personal experience. In the early 1980s, some friends and I stopped at a Dennys, as we often did, for a late night affordable feast. We were coming HOME from an unsuccessful night of PITCHING woo to young ladies in bars. Another Hall of Shame performance by yours truly. I was an underage MINOR league player who thought he was ready for the MAJORS. SWING and a miss! STRIKE ten your OUT. A NO HITTER of sorts. Not even a BUNT SINGLE. Talk about a SLUMP.

Anyhow, on the way HOME, life threw us a another CURVE BALL. It just so happened to be the night the GRAND SLAM breakfast increased in price from $1.99 to $2.99. Talk about inflation! When the bill came, we realized we didn't have enough money. An arguement ensued as to whether or not we had placed our order before midnight. The manager mentioned calling the police - a SQUEEZE PLAY. Being MINORS, we were in no POSITION to deal with that kind of HEAT. We were FORCED to STEAL HOME.

Lesson learned - I'm still not sure.

Anonymous said...

Hey Mark,

Long-time no shout-out. That was great! I loved your chorus. Take care. I assume based on your cheery spirits all is well.

As for me, doin' OK. And really looking forward to marking my pets.com stock to model. Should get the margin clerk off my back -- their incessant calling has been interrupting our dinnertime around here the last couple weeks.

Stagflationary Mark said...

MAB,

For what it is worth, I'm a BULL on DURHAM wheat long-term. The pantry has plenty of it. Can't ever have too much good spaghetti.

http://blahgblahgblog.blogspot.com/2007/10/spaghetti-bull-durham-and-coors-light.html

I once remember eating spaghetti. and not GOOD spaghetti either... - Bull Durham

Stagflationary Mark said...

AllanF,

I assume based on your cheery spirits all is well.

The assumption market has seized up since the great "real estate only goes up" and the "economy is fundamentally strong" assumptions failed so miserably.

Be careful out there! ;)

Anonymous said...

Stag,

We can't even use the NICKLE defense.

Maybe not officially. But I see an arbitrage opportunity. It's still legal to hold pennies and nickels in lieu of the much smaller dimes. Even better, why hold paper dollars when pennies and nickels are actually appreciating.

Perhaps a penny (or nickel) saved is actually more than a penny saved. Uncommon wisdom strikes again.

We truly have a dysfunctional system.

Stagflationary Mark said...

MAB,

It's still legal to hold pennies and nickels in lieu of the much smaller dimes.

There you go using that "still" word and look what it got you. I'm telling you, that word is ultra-powerful. Use at your own risk!

New rules outlaw melting pennies, nickels for profit
12/14/2006
http://www.usatoday.com/money/2006-12-14-melting-ban-usat_x.htm

WASHINGTON — People who melt pennies or nickels to profit from the jump in metals prices could face jail time and pay thousands of dollars in fines, according to new rules out Thursday.

It is all to protect the American taxpayer of course.

"The nation needs its coinage for commerce," U.S. Mint director Ed Moy said in a statement. "We don't want to see our pennies and nickels melted down so a few individuals can take advantage of the American taxpayer. Replacing these coins would be an enormous cost to taxpayers."

Makes me want to vomit. First and foremost, the American taxpayer is being taken advantage of by excessive use of a monetary printing press to solve all our problems. If our government had a stable currency policy then there wouldn't be a way to profit from a currency policy demise.

Here's the best part.

Travelers may legally carry up to $5 in 1- and 5-cent coins out of the USA...

So yeah, you can hold pennies as you say. Offer the border guard more than 500 pennies though and you may do five years in prison and pay as much as $10,000 in fines.

Worse, paying your fine in pennies would be extremely dangerous. If more than 500 gets you arrested, just imagine what a million would do. I suspect the Department of Homeland Security would get involved.

Stagflationary Mark said...

MAB,

One more thought.

We can't even use the NICKLE defense.

Giants beat the Seahawks today: 44 to 6.

I rest my case, lol.