Tuesday, January 25, 2011

The Sarcasm Report v.83

Here's one for the silver bugs. No joke! It had to happen someday.

The following post is rated 5 stars out of 5.

10 Reasons To Short Precious Metals!!

#1 Overbought (every Second you hear commercials to BUY GOLD)

I left the radio on and heard 86,400 commercials in one day. It worked out to exactly one per second. He's not exaggerating.

#2 Fear is disappearing (money moving to riskier assets)

I was under the impression that precious metals had become riskier assets at these prices. Apparently I was mistaken.

#3 As economy approves Government will raise interest rates

The economy will no doubt "approve" government just as much as I do, lol.

#4 As economy approve Government will remove all stimulus

Count on all stimulus being removed. Nothing left at all. A press release will announce that the country is fixed and there will be no further need of politicians. They will retire and flowers will be planted in their honor. Count on it.

#5 All you hear from politicians is to cut the deficit

That's all we hear. It's been true since the dawn of time itself. It is the one thing that both the Republicans and Democrats can agree on without reservation.

#6 Good news is bad news for the market,no more stimulus causing a correction in the market.

This will happen as the economy "approves" no doubt.

#7 Companies are reporting record earnings,hiring is just around the corner

If true, none of these new hires will use that money to buy silver apparently.

#8 As price goes down the main buyer of PM is ETFS they will keep unloading causing excess PM on the market

A falling price will lead to a falling price? Never saw that one coming. Genius!

#9 Dollar will rebound because of the strength in the economy

If we "remove all stimulus" and there is "strength in the economy" once we do that, then the dollar will surely rebound. I felt the need to summarize several of his ideas in the form of a disclaimer.

#10 At these lofty levels producers are waiting to buy at a better price for production.

Does this apply to silver producers?

I didn't really see much value in silver at these prices. However, if these truly are the top 10 reasons to short silver then sign me up. Shorting silver sounds like a "sure thing" to me. I certainly can't fault the logic any more than I already have.


Oh bummer. His post had 5 stars but has dropped to 4 stars in the time it took me to type this. I can't imagine why everyone didn't continue to "approve" of his reasoning.

(In all seriousness, I have no desire to own silver at these prices. It doesn't stop me from being an equal opportunity heckler though. The "economy approves government" quote was just too hard to pass up, lol.)


Mr Slippery said...

What can I say? I approve.

Anonymous said...

Maybe English--impaired person who confuses approved with improved. Or maybe just a beverage approved person?

Stagflationary Mark said...

"Maybe English--impaired person who confuses approved with improved."

Where would he have learned our language though? The TV?

I'm John McCain and I approved this message.

I'm Hillary Clinton and I approved this message.

Good grief! It is practically brain-washing!

Charles Kiting said...

I'm Charles Kiting and I improved this message.

GawainsGhost said...

I have a book recommendation for you, Mark. Same one I gave GYC a little while ago. Amarillo Slim in a World of Fat People. Greatest proposition gambler who ever lived. He beat Minnesota Fats at pool using a broom stick. Took Willie Neslson for everything he had at dominoes. Once bet $300,000 that he could hit a golf ball for a mile, and won.

It's all in there. Like how to put three sugar cubes on a table and win a bet on which on a fly will land on.

Great book.

getyourselfconnected said...

People were making fun of me when I said my price targets near term were:
gold $1250
silver $22.50
We get closer everyday.

Stagflationary Mark said...


"Like how to put three sugar cubes on a table and win a bet on which on a fly will land on."

Watch me pull 1,000 flies out of my hat! Um, just to win the bet of course. ;)

Stagflationary Mark said...

Charles Kiting,

You did improve it!


If they go to zero then I'll be a buyer. Just kidding. I'd see value before that point! ;)

GawainsGhost said...

Well, the secret is to lick your fingertip and rub the top of one sugar cube. The saliva will melt the sugar and create an aroma trail that will lead the fly directly to it. You got a better than 90% chance of winning that bet. As long as the suckers don't know what you're up to. If they figure it out, run.

Anonymous said...

Get on your aluminium party hats--THE DOW SMASHES THROUGH 12000 will be the theme of today. Yeppers, it is really great that Obamarama and CONgresscritters are going to save us now. Over the last 20 years through good times and bad they have been increasing government and buying votes, but all of that will stop now when the government is the last thing growing in our fair land!! Fight deflation with deflation is what I ALWAYS say.

Party hearty while we take a little trip into the big "fat number" DOW time machine--what's this? In 1990 we hit another round number at 3000 and everyone was agog. I mean we were in the greatest bull market in history so what could go wrong??--well 2400 by 3 months later I guess. Don't worry, though its different this time--we got a BEAR market this time instead of a bull--hehehe, but don't tell 'em--they are having SO much fun!

mab said...


Behold the debt based austerity!


“In 2011, real wages are likely to be no higher than they were in 2005,” he said. “One has to go back to the 1920s to find a time when real wages fell over a period of six years. - Mervyn King

Looks like the recovery is still CONtained - to Wall Street.

Word verification = "rumish". It mocks me!

Stagflationary Mark said...


This is America. Cheaters never prosper!

Stagflationary Mark said...


My aluminum hat is double hulled! I wouldn't want any of that cheap oil to spill out!

That said, Rogers $200 oil prediction seems a bit of a stretch right now. The stock market could rally more if oil actually backed off a bit. I'm not touching it though. Let's see where it sits in 2020.

Stagflationary Mark said...


In 2011, real wages are likely to be no higher than they were in 2005,” he said.

I bet we could get the average real wage to rise if we laid off all the lowest paid workers. That would leave us with only highly compensated workers.

Why hasn't anyone thought to try this?

Oh oh. I've turned today into Sarcastic Wednesday. This is *supposed* to be garbage day (at least on my street).

watchtower said...

Dow 12,000

That sounds like a Rubicon number to me!

But of course it will never ever go below 12,000 again so I guess that rules that out.

watchtower said...

Wait a minute, I've got that backassward, 12,000 really is a Rubicon number!

We're saved! We're saved!

G.H. said...

"I certainly can't fault the logic any more than I already have.

Two monks were arguing about the temple flag waving in the wind. One said, "The flag moves." The other said, "The wind moves." They argued back and forth but could not agree.

The Sixth Ancestor said, "Gentlemen! It is not the wind that moves; it is not the flag that moves; it is your mind that moves." The two monks were struck with awe.

Stagflationary Mark said...


Dow 12,000 is an illusion! The only true Rubicon is the 1,200 level on the S&P 500!

Do not pray to the false Gods lest you be struck down by the lightning rounds of Mad Money! ;)

Keep the faith. We shall return! I guarantee it!!

Ever see Sarah Silverman's Jesus is Magic? If you have and it doesn't offend you then you will know that I have cornered myself much like she did when discussing her dead grandmother.

Shame on me for even bringing it up. Stop reading right now if you are easily offended.

Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic

And I hope I’m not saying this just because I felt dirty for laughing at the sweet, innocent looking Sarah Silverman praying to herself, “Oh god, please let them find semen in my dead grandmother’s vagina.” That one, I’ll leave for you.

I laughed. I felt very dirty. I know the quote doesn't make any sense if you haven't seen the movie. Believe it or not, there is a way it makes sense though. And yes, there is a perfectly logical explanation why she might pray for such a thing based on what she said just before it, lol.

So on that note...

Oh God, please let the S&P 500 fall to 1,200. :)

Stagflationary Mark said...


"The two monks were struck with awe."

The awe of Chuck Norris! ;)