Sunday, March 25, 2012

Disney's Sci-Fi Flop

March 20, 2012
Disney says 'John Carter' to lose $200 million

LOS ANGELES (AP) — "John Carter" is now officially a flop of galactic proportions.

The Walt Disney Co. said Monday that it expects to book a loss of $200 million on the movie in the quarter through March. That ranks it among Hollywood's all-time biggest money-losers.

Nobody could have seen this coming.

March 23, 2012
THE RANT: ‘JOHN CARTER’s’ MASSIVE FALLOUT: Who’s to blame for Disney’s ‘$200-million’ bomb

1. Disney research apparently didn’t turn up a key fact: Most moviegoers have never HEARD of John Carter.

I had heard of John Carter! Antonio Sabato Jr. *and* Traci Lords in the same direct-to-DVD movie? What's not to like? Hahaha!

Princess of Mars (Video 2009)

Naked and surrounded by hostile aliens, John Carter must fight for survival as aliens try to kill him and/or make him eat bugs.

Ratings: 3.2/10 from 717 users

If you missed the John Carter story, don't worry. You can currently watch Princess of Mars on Netflix as many times as you can stomach. Truth be known, I lasted roughly 10 minutes. Cast iron! I dare you to last longer, lol.

Princess of Mars

It is not to be confused with the higher-budget 2012 film John Carter, which is also an adaptation of the novel.

I beg to differ. I'm confusing them right now. I have little interest in seeing either movie. It isn't that I dislike Science Fiction. Alien is my favorite movie of all time. So what bothers me most about John Carter? Oh, I don't know. In this era of modern technology, perhaps we know more about Mars than we did in 1917? Just a thought.

March 9, 2012
How Practical Is Taylor Kitsch’s John Carter Outfit for Fighting Life on Mars?

We give up, John Carter. We give up.

I guess I just demand a bit of practicality in my science fiction. Take the flop known as Waterworld for instance.

July 30, 2010
Second Look: 'Waterworld' - Is It Really All That Bad?

It's all very silly and illogical (Why has humanity devolved into this ridiculous state? Where are the other mutants? This is far enough in the future for human-fish mutations, yet cigarette packs still exist?)

Yes, it really is all that bad. Here's my pet peeve. If all the polar ice melted then how hard would it be to find dry land? Here's what I would do. I'd look out a window of my house. There it is! On the off chance that my 525' above sea level house was actually underwater and I was floating in my raft above it, then I would see Mt. Rainier in the distance. I certainly wouldn't need a gasoline-guzzling jet ski to find it.

How many miles per gallon does a jet ski get?

With my 110 HP engine jet ski I can make around 100 miles on a full 16 gallon tank, with an average speed around 35-40 mph. But if you're planning to go on a long trip, make sure you have gas station along the way...

Good luck on that one.


Mr Slippery said...

Alien certainly ranks near the top of my list, too.

Enjoy Prometheus trailer 2

And don't miss Weyland's TED talk from 2023.

Mr Slippery said...

I had not heard of John Carter and the trailer looked like a mish mash of Clone Wars and every generic SyFy original. No wonder it flopped.

Stagflationary Mark said...

Mr Slippery,

I had not heard of John Carter and the trailer looked like a mish mash of Clone Wars and every generic SyFy original.

Mansquito! Hahaha!

Ridley Scott's Prometheus holds great potential.

Honestly, I'm really not all that hard to please. Here was an unexpected ray of sci-fi sunshine from 2007. It shows up on TV every now and then. I pretty much watch it every time.

Stagflationary Mark said...

From the link...

With a budget of US$40 million, it ultimately grossed almost US$32 million worldwide.

Figures. Never even heard of it until I saw it on TV. I'm apparently part of the problem.

Stagflationary Mark said...

Here is the trailer. Would have been impressive to see on the big screen.

Mr Slippery said...

Cool, Sunshine is on my list. Mixed feelings about using Requiem for a Dream music in the trailer, but it looks good.

Troy said...

I have a friend with a 10' screen -- w/ $7000 home theatre projector -- so I've seen dozens of movies w/o having to deal with the theatre BS.

Sunshine was in fact pretty great. Pretty reminiscent of Disney's The Black Hole from 30 years ago, LOL.

What I don't get is why Hollywood can't pull the thumb out and plan and execute a future-history space opera story over a 3-4 movie arc . . . real failure of imaginations now. We have the technology to create anything, yet we rehash dumbass proto-sci fi from 100 years ago.

The Japanese have the balls to push themselves, e.g. Now, that series has tons of problems but it has its moments.

These idiots really don't realize the gripping drama of what ship actions can be -- Pirates of the Caribbean and other period pieces get into it a little bit, but storymakers don't grok that the future is a great storyspace to explore, too.

Mr Slippery said...

Someone in Wikipedia has compiled a list of all the SyFy original movies.

It's an impressive body of work.

Carny (with Lou Diamond Phillips)
Chupacabra: Dark Seas
Dinocroc vs. Supergator
Flu Bird Horror
NYC: Tornado Terror
Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys
Sasquatch Mountain
S.S. Doomtrooper
Witchslayer Gretl

You can't really put a price on entertainment like that, can you?

Scott said...

BIL saw John Carter and thought it was good. But had never heard of the character or novels. Bad, bad marketing, Disney.

Stagflationary Mark said...


We have the technology to create anything, yet we rehash dumbass proto-sci fi from 100 years ago.

The video game industry is fairly similar. Every now and then someone thinks up an original idea and then everyone else copies it to death.

Here's a glimpse into the industry first hand, since I have seen it with my own eyes.

What worked for us last time? Okay, let's do that again.

Eventually you end up here with an average review rating of 3.4 out of 5.

Stagflationary Mark said...

Mr Slippery,

That's quite the list. I think it is a travesty that we never got the chance to see Sasquatch Mountain in a movie theater, lol. ;)

Stagflationary Mark said...


John Carter did get 7 out of 10 at IMDB. The special effects in the trailer look pretty good.

Perhaps it really is bad marketing. I look at the trailer and see a cross between Avatar (minus the wonderfully rich colors) and the Starship Troopers series (which I'm pretty much burned out on). Perhaps the movie is better than that. I certainly would not claim to know.

Doesn't change the fact that I don't wish to see it though (or at least pay to see it).

Stagflationary Mark said...

Sasquatch Mountain

Budget: $800,000 (estimated)

They are miracle workers I tell you. Divide that amount by the number of people who worked on it.

Let's see. There's about 20 people in the cast, half a dozen producers (two of which are the same person), and so on.

Here's a question. How many times was Brian Lataille paid? He's the steadicam operator, camera operator, *and* the director of photography: second unit.

And then there is Guy J. Graves. He was apparently the "honeywagon" driver, lol.

dearieme said...

How about a film where a Yeti hunts Nessie?

Stagflationary Mark said...


Yeti + Nessie + Jason + Mad Scientist + Recombinant DNA

Abominable Lockness Snow Monster: The Final Chapter

I can make this movie for $200,000! All I need is some "chewed paper", adhesive, a stop-motion camera, and a chance. :)

トリー バーチ(tory burch) said...
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