Maximizing Vomit (A Recipe)

Fixing US economy's health is a boon for DC region

Washington and its suburbs gained 31,000 jobs over the 12-month period that ended in November, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Losses in construction and retail jobs are being offset by gains in federal government positions as well as health and business services, according to senior fellow John McClain of George Mason University's Center for Regional Analysis.

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With government workers and contractors accounting for roughly one-third of the job force, Washington tends to prosper in times of crisis.

Step 1

Eat an egg.

Step 2

Read the article and note where the prosperity is going.

Step 3

Do what comes naturally. Do not fight it.

Step 4

Go to Step 1.

Step 5 (Optional)

Cheater! You should have never reached this step. This technology should have ensured that there was an infinite supply of vomit at essentially no cost (other than the cost of eggs of course). Oh well. What's done is done. Use the tissue to clean it up. You know the drill.



We emptied the nose in the previous article. We emptied the stomach in this one. I guess that just leaves one thing left to empty as it relates to our economy. I should warn you that it is going to take well over a trillion bowls though. I guess that's why I'm still bullish on toilet paper prices long-term.