Tuesday, September 20, 2016

The Sarcasm Report v.260

September 19, 2016
USA Today: If Fed finally raises rates, here's how you'll feel it

Another issue is that there is a lot of liquidity in the financial sector at the moment. As that starts to ease we can expect increased competition for retail savings, and with increased competition comes better rates for savers.

Indeed. I'm really looking forward to all that increased competition. We can expect much higher rates once savers begin to withdraw the $11.3 trillion (and growing) from commercial banks, stuff it under their mattresses, then light their mattresses on fire.

Just need patience. As a side note, never been a better time to invest in lighter fluid and matches. That's a lot of liquidity that will soon mysteriously start to ease/burn.

Now, if we could just figure out a way to short the monetary printing presses and/or deposit glut directly. People claim that the Fed can print an infinite number of dollars at essentially no cost. What they don't realize is the power of saver arsonists to nearly infinitely undo all that good work, at least in theory.

What will cause the first match to be lit? A conspiracy theory involving listeria tainted greenbacks? Lettuce hope not!!


mab said...

Lettuce hope not!!

Hope? Raise rates? Bah! Rather than raise, let us praise!

The all seeing prophets at the Fed (praise be upon them) will continue to raze rates and bring glorious profits. As for the plebes, let us prey!

Stagflationary Mark said...

Braise the rates!

The slow cook penetrates the SHLD.

We're Dune'd! Repent simmers! The end is Sears!

P.S. Nothing bastes like the lambasting of Eddie Lampert. Fry high? Smell low? Not my cooking style! ;)

mab said...


The fast trade generates the yield. Poor Eddie, like a couch potato, left holding the cabaggage. His flip has flopped. It seems like Sears ago.

Shout, Shout, Let it on Out! (Tears for Sears? Not my style!)

Anonymous said...

Is it time to buy those EE bonds,yet?

Stagflationary Mark said...


Cabaggage Holdings Corporation

Buy one corned beef and cabbage bag at the regular price and get a second bag absolutely free!*

* Corned beef and cabbage sold separately.

Stagflationary Mark said...


Getting close! Rates and terms may change on November 1st. For what it is worth, I'll be locking it in before then.

Hindsight may show that it was not a great plan, but holding 20 years @ 3.53% certainly beats a 20-year treasury @ today's 2.09% (and by a very wide margin).

In a world of proven dismal "safe" nominal long-term returns, one takes what one can get. Sigh.