"Sure Thing" Business Opportunity

WisdomTree ETF Monthly Performance Report

Performance is historical and does not guarantee future results.

Well, that certainly must be a relief to most shareholders (the exception being shareholders who were looking to lock in future losses).

There's an "awesome opportunity" here for those willing to make a lot of money with absolutely no risk. Here's my idea which you are free to use. Form a company to guarantee those future results. How hard could it be?

1. Create a mutual fund insurance company.
2. Offer to guarantee the domestic earnings etfs historical performance (average annual returns since inception as shown in the above link) into the distant future. Be sure to lock that negative rate in based on the current data. You don't want any "adjustable rate" surprises if the economy actually does recover at some point.
3. Charge a hefty fee.
4. As the money comes in, spend ~5% frivolously on yachts and/or partying. (Think Dennis Kozlowski.) That should leave 95% you can safely bury in the back yard to pay back investors.
5. Spend the hefty fees on yachts and/or partying too. That's twice the fun.

Sure thing. Can't lose. You simply need to find people willing to buy the insurance. That's all.

While you are busy doing that look for me on my new late night infomercial: You Too Can Make Money Insuring Others. You don't even need to be too big to fail. If MBIA and Ambac can do it, so can you! The trick is to insure things so big nobody could even begin to imagine how you could pay the claim if something bad happened. Also look for my new book: Lost Your Job? Insure Homeowners Against Nuclear War! I'll Show You How!

I don't think this is investment advice. It is certainly not intended to be. It might be humor. Then again it might not. I guess it just depends on whether or not you were laughing when you read the links.