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I have spent literally hours developing one of the most advanced investment systems the world has ever known. I call it IPADIS. Mwuhahaha!
Illusion of Prosperity's Army of Darkness Investment System
Here's how it works. The system analyzes what the president says and compares it to the script of the movie Army of Darkness. If there is a match, then a translation of the script is generated for the user along with a course of action.
Here are a few examples.
December 14, 2005
"Just a Goddamned Piece of Paper"
System Activated
Translation Input
Stop throwing the Constitution in my face! It's just a goddamned piece of paper!
I don't give a goddamn: I'm the President and the Commander-in-Chief. Do it my way.
Database Search
Army of Darkness
Translation Output
I don't want your Constitution, I don't want your bullshit.
I could have even been dictator. But in my own way, I *am* dictator.
Recommended Course of Action
Buy gold
Success Rate to Date
1 out of 1 (100%)
July 16, 2008
Bush pessimistic on nation's direction - blames Congress
System Activated
Translation Input
President does say banking system 'basically is sound'
Database Search
Army of Darkness
Translation Output
Wiseman: Is the US Banking System sound?
President Bush: Yeah, basically.
Wiseman: Can the US Banking System survive without a bailout?
President Bush: Look, maybe it can't survive every single little tiny foreclosure, no. But basically, it is sound, yeah.
Recommended Course of Action
Short the entire US Banking System
Success Rate to Date
2 out of 2 (100%)
Final Look at Local Housing Markets in October and a Look Ahead to November
Sales
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Today, in the Calculated Risk Real Estate Newsletter: Final Look at Local
Housing Markets in October and a Look Ahead to November Sales
A brief excerpt:
...
3 hours ago
3 comments:
Stag,
We've moved way beyond just bad ideas.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAmpoK5Ewck
I think Bush went full retard on our country. Look at the results.
Now Bernanke is going full retard on the eCONomy.
It is just so wrong that the path to wealth has become largely dependent on the ability to predict the intended and unintended consequences of idiocy.
MAB,
We've moved way beyond just bad ideas.
It is just so wrong that the path to wealth has become largely dependent on the ability to predict the intended and unintended consequences of idiocy.
List of films considered the worst
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Films_considered_the_worst_ever
Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959)
In the television series The X-Files, Fox Mulder watches Plan 9 whenever he needs to focus on a difficult problem, claiming that the film is so incredibly bad that it shuts down the logic centers of his brain, allowing him to make intuitive leaps of logic. He has seen the movie 42 times.
Similarly, Bailout Plan 9 from Oval Office is allowing most of us to make vast intuitive leaps of logic.
If we needed to borrow a good sum of money to keep the economy going during good times then how much money are we going to need to borrow to keep the economy going during freakishly grotesque times?
Don't answer that! This is a new year. We need to be more optimistic.
Let's say Plan 9 implodes. Reason suggests it will leave a cloud. Bliss! Paradise! Imagine the shopping experience!
Cloud Nine (Shanghai)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cloud_Nine_(Shanghai)
It is also known as Shanghai Summit Shopping City.
Rumor has it that it is built at the top of Candy Mountain!
MAB,
It is just so wrong that the path to wealth has become largely dependent on the ability to predict the intended and unintended consequences of idiocy.
Oh how your quote applies today! Check out what I just ran across.
I would strongly urge that you invest in forehead protection before reading the following though.
Markets Have Hit Bottom (comment section)
http://moneycentral.msn.com/community/message/thread.asp?board=YourMoney&threadid=883576
I am hoping for the most massive inflation possible. I would love to convert 1mil to 1.5mil to 30 year treasuries at 12% or 13%. At my age, massive inflation would be a way for me to lock in a high yeald for the remainder of my life expcetancy. - wxyz
Thud! Thud! Thud! Thud!
Meanwhile, just so you know, I am throwing up. I wasn't prepared. I was too busy protecting my forehead and completely forgot to protect my stomach.
You are so right. There is no shortage of bad ideas and/or "hopes" it seems.
Never in my wildest dreams would I imagine anyone rooting for massive inflation, much less the most massive inflation possible, especially someone with actual monetary savings. Color me stupid, stick a pointed hat on my head, and point me off to the corner.
Welcome to my nightmare. I think you're going to like it. There'll be some more when you come down. - Alice Cooper
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