The Sarcasm Report v.34 (Musical Tribute)

September 28, 2009
Negative Bond Returns Converge With Mortgage Miracle (Update1)

Sept. 28 (Bloomberg) -- Federal Reserve Chairman Ben S. Bernanke has some good news for investors: Treasury bondholders will lose money for the first time in 10 years...

That's good news for investors all right.

First, there are the bond market investors.

September 19, 2009
Don't Trip in Your Search for Higher Bond Yields

Last month, investors put twice as much money into intermediate-term and junk-bond funds as into short-term bond portfolios. As a result, they have exposed themselves to much greater risk from rising rates or falling credit quality. When interest rates go up, as in 1994, investors in longer-term bonds can get slaughtered.

"People feel they have to choose between the frying pan of zero yields and the fire of risk," said Crane Data's president, Peter G. Crane. "And they're sick of the frying pan, so they're jumping into the fire."

Second, there are the stock market investors.

September 22, 2009
Investors consider stock market bandwagon

"If the dollar continues to decline, (the Fed) would have to raise interest rates to combat rising inflation expectations. That would be bad for the markets first and later the economy," he says.

Third, we must not forget about the housing market investors.

July 27, 2004
The bubble question

How will rising interest rates affect housing prices?

That low interest rates have been the driving force behind real estate's unprecedented rise is not a point of debate among economists. Quite simply, lower rates mean buyers can afford higher home prices.

It stands to reason, then, that the opposite would be true. Yet, many economists have been arguing that higher rates won't hurt housing.

It's kooky wacky crazy talk. Gotta love it!