Wednesday, July 13, 2011

An Open Letter to My Congressperson

Dear Congressperson,

I'm worried about you. Knowing that you are honest and ethical, you would surely cut your own pay before that of senior citizens relying on Social Security checks. The toll it will take on your personal finances is just too much for me to bear.

I therefore offer you a way out and it is one you have probably not considered. It might seem a bit sleazy in fact, but desperate times call for desperate actions. Please forgive me.

If you meet behind closed doors in the 11th hour and find a solution at the last possible second, then each and every one of you can come out looking like heroes.

Here's to a successful debt launch. Let's get it into orbit and eventually land it on the moon. We're all counting (down) on you. You are our last hope.

Yours truly,
Stagflationary Mark


Wisdom Seeker said...

Are you suggesting we stack up the national debt to the moon? That's only $3 trillion if you stack it as dollar bills.

At $14T, it looks like we have enough in our stack to build "stairways to heaven" for Obama, Boehner, Pelosi, McConnell and Reid!

I modestly propose that we print up $14T in dollar bills, stack them up to place our esteemed leaders on the moon, then use the dollar bills to discharge the national debt, pass a balanced budget amendment, amend the Federal Reserve act so that the "stable prices" clause has actual teeth to it (no more "2% inflation for a century except when we goof up and it's more"), and then just deal with the cleanup!

I think your TIPS will make out really well until the stable prices law finally catches up with the $14T in freshly printed greenbacks...

GawainsGhost said...

Or, Mark, you could try my political strategy. Vote against every incumbent.

Stagflationary Mark said...

Wisdom Seeker,

I see your point.

The thickness of a dollar bill is 0.010922 cm. $14 trillion stacked up would therefore reach 1.52908 million kilometers into space. The moon is only 0.384403 million kilometers from earth though.

This is fantastic news! We do not need to launch the debt to the moon nor do we need to create any more manned missions to the moon. We can build a stairway instead!

I suggest we use the leftover bills to create housing for our esteemed leaders on the moon though. That way the bills won't ever find their way into the price of canned goods.

Put another way, as a TIPS investor I don't particularly care for your solution all that much, lol. Sigh. ;)

Stagflationary Mark said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stagflationary Mark said...


I like your idea but it just isn't sarcastic enough to meet my "open letter" needs. ;)