The Sarcasm Report v.6

No Quick Action Expected
We may have as many as 1 million to 3 million people who could lose their homes, not because they lost their jobs, not because the economy collapsed, but because they got bad deals on mortgages," said Sen. Christopher Dodd, D-Conn., chairman of the Senate Banking, Housing and Urban Affairs Committee.

While we are at it, let's retroactively help the 1 million to 3 million people from 2000 who could have lost their homes, not because they lost their jobs, not because the economy collapsed, but because they got bad deals on dotcom stocks (assuming they aren't exactly the same people that is, as it would be silly to reward them twice).

"First and foremost, we need people on the ground to help innocent mortgagors, innocent homeowners refinance when they're on the edge of foreclosure and yet they have the wherewithal for refinancing," said Sen. Charles Schumer, D-N.Y., who sits on the Senate Banking Committee. "Somebody's got to fill that void."

Maybe these people (assuming they have useful skills and aren't just government bureaucrats) could setup a few Mobile Army Surgical Hospitals (MASH). The original series ran from 1972 to 1983, just like gold did. Coincidence? I think not! Then again, maybe the government would prefer deflation instead. In that case, let FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) handle it. They did such a good job in New Orleans. Heck of a job. We could get waves of deflation if the levees (or levys) don't hold!

President Bush, meanwhile, urged Congress on Friday to concentrate on reforming the Federal Housing Administration, a Depression-era agency created to help low and moderate-income Americans afford homes.

I believe the exact quote was, "Congress needs to reform a Depression-era agency in my likeness and give it a bit of a swagger."

The House passed a bill last year that would modernize the FHA...

I've always thought that would be a good idea. It is very tough to do a loan amortization with an abacus. You might get away with it in the short-term when interest rates are really low, say back in 2004, but once inflation kicks off you practically need a wheelbarrow of them just to figure out how to buy bread.

...but a companion bill has yet to make it through the Senate.

Yeah, and the bill is way past due. The Senate has its own liquidity issues, um, I mean it had a hard time, um, it's well, quite embarrassing really... Look, what I'm trying to say is that they should have never tried to pay the bill with an expired credit card. That's the oldest trick in the book. And speaking of oldest tricks, I'm almost afraid to ask which services the "companion" performed. There's a moral to the Senate story here: When you're compromising, or well, um, are in compromising positions, always pay cash!

The more I think about it the more something just doesn't quite add up. No, I'm not talking about our trade deficit again. That's crazy talk. I'm talking about blaming the speculators for 100% of the problems. I think there might be something else going on. What could it be?