The Sarcasm Report v.21

The Bank of Canada needs to get with the program.

April 24, 2008
Economy stalling, Bank says

OTTAWA–Canada’s economy has nearly stalled and won’t get fully back on its feet until 2010 as a result of the unexpectedly steep decline in business conditions in the United States, the Bank of Canada said today.

The US Economy is poised to rebound in the second half of 2008. That's what we are told.

"Growth in the global economy has weakened" since January, Bank of Canada Governor Mark Carney remarked at a news conference. He said this deterioration reflects "the effects of a sharp slowdown in the U.S. economy and ongoing dislocations in global financial markets.

The global economy is booming (ex-food and ex-energy). That's what we are told.

"The U.S. economic slowdown is projected to be deeper and more protracted" than the bank expected earlier this year, Carney said.

Short and shallow is what we are told. Short and shallow.

Have they not visited the legendary state of North Dakota recently? Surely if that is factored in we have nothing to worry about.

North Dakota Tourism: North Dakota TV and Videos

From the fertile farmland and bustling cities of the east, to the rivers, lakes, hills and prairies of central North Dakota, and on to the rugged Badlands of the west, North Dakota is a land of Legendary adventure for everyone.

There's even a free nine minute training video to help potential tourists. Was the Bank of Canada even aware of that? I think not!



What can Canada possibly due to counter our future prosperity due to a tanking US Dollar combined with free Internet tourist training videos from the legendary state of North Dakota? Mwuhahaha!!

Bank of Canada trying to get loonie down, says U.S. think-tank

OTTAWA - The Bank of Canada will aggressively cut interest rates to bring down the Canadian dollar that is being held aloft by Canada's relatively high interest rates and world oil prices, which hit a new record high of nearly $120 US a barrel Monday, a U.S. based economic think-tank says.

"While the bank will not say this, we continue to believe that it seeks to cheapen the loonie against the U.S. dollar," Carl Weinberg, economist and head of High Frequency Economics, said in an analysis. "This requires aggressive rate cuts to catch up with the Fed."

Oh. Nevermind. As a side note, does this mean that the one-way, can't lose, sure thing Canadian Dollar fiat bet is getting long in the tooth?

Canadian Dollar

Oh well, there's always the paper fiat Euro. It still always goes up. Further, the one-way, can't lose, sure thing technical chart analysis says she's goin' from 160 to 246! That's like having money then getting 50% free money! Woohoo! Forget hoardin' toilet paper. Time to start filling pillowcases with Euros!

Euro

Prelim. Bullish Price Obj. (Rev.): 246.0

EU says economy in 'inflationary shock' as prices surge and growth slows

The weaker dollar will likely hit European exporters harder in the future, the EU said, steering away from an earlier line that Europe has not seen any ill-effects of a strong euro.

Sounds like a stagflationary shock. Gotta get me some of that! Let's see. What do I need? A forex account! Free forex training! I suppose that's a start but I also need something extra.

Forex Trading USA

A margin requirement as low as 0.5% (200 to 1 leverage) is a lot lower (higher leverage) than that of stocks and futures (increasing leverage increases risk).

Sweet! Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about. That combined with a credit card with a generous credit limit should get me all I deserve, and more! Baby needs a trillion new shoes!