The Sarcasm Report v.262

October 13, 2016
TheStreet: How to Protect Yourself From a 15% Correction in the Stock Market

Though Bartenstein did not make any specific recommendations, he was positive on consumer discretionary, healthcare, energy and financial sectors.

It is a little known fact that the best way to protect yourself from a 15% stock market correction is to buy stocks. Zig when others say to zag. That's what I say.

Next up: learn how to protect yourself from Diabetes this Halloween by eating all the candy all at once. It is a little known fact that once you've gorged on all the candy, you won't be tempted to eat any more.

Candy, it's what's for dinner.