Thursday, June 2, 2011

The Sarcasm Report v.105

June 2, 2011
UK consumer recovery slowest in 180yrs

“The only sustainable recovery is the kind of recovery that rebalances away from consumer demand and towards external demand,” said one Treasury aide.

Awesome idea!

So here's the plan that might not only save the UK, but the entire global economy as well.

We'll set up a new country on the moon. I suggest Moonistan. Right now Moonistan has no ability to create its own products. That means that the entire world can sell to them. Just picture all that external demand!

We'll send them goods and they'll send us back Moonbucks. As we begin to accumulate Moonbucks we can simply reinvest them in Moonistan's public debt. It isn't like we'll need to spend them.

In theory, we should probably station a guy up on the moon to control the country of Moonistan.

In practice, we could probably just station a guy in the Cayman Islands . All that really matters is that someone somewhere accepts the goods and sends us Moonbucks in exchange.

I know this can work. It's actually based loosely on the Chinese economic miracle model.


Genius!

What happens to the goods you might ask? Great question.

In theory, we should probably ship them up to the moon and store them for the future citizens of Moonistan.

In practice, we could probably just dump them right in the ocean off the Cayman Islands.

13 comments:

Who Struck John said...

I volunteer my services as first king of Moonistan. As my first act, I invite all the world's neo-Keynesians to a junket on the far side of Moonistan. I'm sure an indefinate factfinding tour of our domains will provide them with a lifetime's distraction from the concerns of their former nations of residence.

Stagflationary Mark said...

Who Struck John,

I have reviewed the list of applicants and I must say your name does appear at the top.

I have good news and bad news.

First the bad news. I cannot make you King of Moonistan.

Now the good news. Simply conquer the country. If none of its citizens can stop you (all zero of them) then you will be the rightful King of Moonistan and I will have no choice but to point much of the world's excess industrial capacity in your direction!

Stagflationary Mark said...

Using advanced Moonistan technology, I have more good news and bad news.

The good news: You will lead a long life.

The bad news: Who Struck King John of Moonistan! - The Los Angeles Times, August 23, 2049

Who Struck John said...

Every king needs an anthem.

Stagflationary Mark said...

Seas would rise when I gave the word...

If you can pull that off then Moonistan is going to be quite the exotic getaway!

mab said...

Stag,

I think this Moonistan thing has legs. It's probably not important, but I've been wondering what they call earthquakes on the moon.

Is it moonquakes?

In other news, the number of people on foodstamps had a nice jump this month after a disappointingly small rise last month.

And it's not just the headline number that was strong. The details of the report showed some serious broad based strength. For instance, the number of households receiving foodstamps is now over 21 million. Really impressive.

The second derivatives are looking much better now. Trend lines for the win!

http://www.fns.usda.gov/pd/29SNAPcurrPP.htm

On bubble vision, they say that the trend is your friend. I'm not so sure. Then again, maybe I'm just looking at trends other than the Wall St. bonus trends. D'oh!

getyourselfconnected said...

If we start a Moon colony, we can hurl rocks back at earth! (The Moon is a Harsh Mistress)

Stagflationary Mark said...

mab,

Moonistan embraces the future and twitter is a another name for quake. I therefore propose lunatweets. Nobody ever panics during lunatweets!

As for food stamps, there will be no need. Let them eat Moon Pies if the Moonistan economy "craters" like ours does.

The difficult part for Moonistans will be deciding where the (were)wolves will keep their silver when the earth is full.

Stagflationary Mark said...

GYSC,

Since we know the moon is made of government cheese, it stands to reason that Moonistans will be hurling.

It's an all you CAN eat buffet. No exceptions, lol.

Who Struck John said...

Mark,

Canute had nothing on me.

Stagflationary Mark said...

The King of Moonistan is very foolish and very wise!

King Canute

Canute is famous for the tale of the incoming tide. According to legend, Canute’s courtiers flattered him into believing that his word was so powerful that even the tide would recede at his command. Canute is said to have taken this compliment literally and had his throne placed by the shore and vainly attempted to command the waves to recede until he almost drowned. An alternative version states that Canute was extremely wise and put on this practical demonstration to show his courtiers that he was not taken in by their flattery.

Who Struck John said...

Is it better to be a wise fool or a foolish wise man?

I think it better to be a wise fool. No one listens to a wise fool, but many people listen to foolish wise men. From the foolishness of wise men is birthed much catastrophe.

Stagflationary Mark said...

No one listens to a wise fool, but many people listen to foolish wise men.

You are so right! It is not even possible to listen to a wise fool.

Even a fool, when he holdeth his
peace, is counted wise: and he
that shutteth his lips is esteemed
a man of understanding.
- King Solomon

The King of Moonistan is in esteemed company!