Tuesday, November 22, 2016

The Sarcasm Report v.268

November 22, 2016
Bloomberg: No Evidence of Aloe Vera Found in the Aloe Vera at Wal-Mart, CVS

The aloe vera gel many Americans buy to soothe damaged skin contains no evidence of aloe vera at all.

One needs faith to detect aloe vera! Shun the nonbelievers!

In all seriousness sarcasticness, this is America. Expect to see long prison sentences for those responsible for the corporate fraud! Woohoo!

6 comments:

Unknown said...

I suppose it's really full of melamine instead?

Stagflationary Mark said...

Ingredients include an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space?

Anonymous said...

Thanks for informing us Mark. I was going to waste my money rubbing that Aloe....less product on my dead squirrel beer holder.

By the way you might like the worst things for sale website if you have never been there.

mab said...

No worries, I've heard from a reliable source that Walmart, Target and CVS have opened up a joint investigation to determine who is sneaking into their stores taking the aloe out of their aloe!

Numerous U.S. security departments have said the crimes fits the profile of Russian aloe vera hackers.

Stagflationary Mark said...

Anonymous,

Hahaha! Be careful when you rub the lack of aloe on the dead squirrel holder. Call me cynical, but fraud seems rampant. The squirrel might not be dead!! ;)

The Worst Things For Sale did not disappoint! Thanks for the heads up!!

Note to self: Do not buy an egg cracker. Turns out you can crack eggs without it. Who knew? Hahaha!!!

Still trying to figure out why the cigarette-shaped pillow is a bad idea though. Is it because you can only buy them by the carton? Are the pillows heavily taxed? Do they cause cancer? Do they stink? Are they a fire hazard? *shrug shoulders*

Stagflationary Mark said...

mab,

My secret service says SPECTRE.

From Russia with Love? Woohoo! That's gotta be the missing aloe!!