Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Twitter Has Changed Me

I've tweeted over 100 pictures and videos of my naked puppy without a problem but I finally crossed the line. I've been censored and am now apparently a puppy pornographer! Seriously. If you have children, avert their eyes! The following pictures may scar them for life!! ;)


Click to enlarge.


Click to enlarge.

P.S. If you are a puppy pervert and have not gotten your fill, there's no telling what I might tweet next @RiverGSD. ;)

17 comments:

Rob Dawg said...

Might be an issue with calculating "dog years." Lol.

Have you introduced her to the Frisbee yet? She seems a natural.

Stagflationary Mark said...

Maybe they found out about her upcoming film? River Does Renton!

Haven't introduced her to the Frisbee yet. Want to take it easy on her joints until she's older.

She's met the laser pointer and tennis ball indoors though. Loves them both. :)

mab said...

From River's twitter:

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?


Reminds me of an old pick-up line:

If I told you you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

FWIW, the line never worked for me. I only tried it in jest though.


Stagflationary Mark said...

FWIW, the line never worked for me. I only tried it in jest though.

If you ended the line with "just kidding" then perhaps she wasn't sure which part?

Worst pick-up line ever: "You have a nice body. Just kidding." Hahaha! :)

mab said...

"You have a nice body. Just kidding."

Yeah, but the whole idea is to get her to hold it against me.....

mab said...

Wait, let's come at this from a different angle. We say to her friend:

if I told you I had a great body would you hold it against her?

I'm just spit-balling here.

Stagflationary Mark said...

if I told you I had a great body would you hold it against her?

I tried this twice. Did not work as intended. Her boyfriend punched me right after I asked him. Woke up in the hospital. Told the doctor the nurse had a great body. Got punched again. Turns out the nurse was his wife. ;)

TJandTheBear said...

The pictures are the highlight of our day.

Our girl came into the rescue 4 months old and nearly 40 pounds -- still a pup but a big one, and already disciplined far beyond her age. These first two months you have with River now we didn't have with her, so keep it coming!

Stagflationary Mark said...

I love this dog! I'm really glad you enjoy the pictures. As expected, not getting much feedback on Twitter. River has a LOT of cute competition.

Most training seems to be coming along fine. She hasn't had an accident in the last few days and not expecting many more. The routine is now established. She's also doing fairly well on the leash. Sitting has become her default position if she doesn't know what we want. She's playing me though. She will sit near the treats and stare into my soul. :)

It's harder than our last big dog, because we already have a tiny adult dog in the house. Tends to push River's adrenaline buttons sometimes. Stopping the mouthiness is therefore more difficult. And the Shih Tzu's tail is becoming a running toy. We're working on it though, and making progress.

Did I mention that I love this dog? She's sleeping on my right elbow right now. I can't imagine a world without her now. I am bonded to her and continue to bond at a rapid rate. I'm going to be a basket case at the end of her lifespan. Seriously.

TJandTheBear said...

Regarding those last two lines... that's us now (3 years later). That's why it's SO important to live "in the moment". Don't put off anything -- plan your adventures now.

p.s.: In case you hadn't run across them before, "BringFido.com" and "DogFriendly.com" are great for identifying accommodations that'll take her.

Stagflationary Mark said...

My adventures tend to all be within 25 miles of my home. There's a trail to a river right across the street. Parks, trails, Seattle waterfront, it's all good. Totally content with local attractions. Haven't stayed in a hotel in 15 years.

Call me a homebody! :)

P.S. Good thing most people aren't like me or the economy would collapse, again.

TJandTheBear said...

That's great, but discovering the country is amazing through the eyes of a dog.

BTW, did I mention that Merci was a therapy dog?

Stagflationary Mark said...

BTW, did I mention that Merci was a therapy dog?

I don't think so, but I've probably lost 40 IQ points over the past 3 weeks from lack of sleep. But hey, doesn't stop me from enjoying it!

If you have any therapy dog stories to share, I'm all ears. We're still leaning that way too. :)

TJandTheBear said...

Too many stories to tell, with the best being the "impromptu" sessions.

She seems VERY attached to you. How about your wife? Merci was my baby-girl but she was psychically & emotionally a part of my wife.

Since she came to us at 4 months of age we had one accident that was our fault and never lost any sleep. No sympathy from me, though... they grow up soooo fast!

Stagflationary Mark said...

Nancy is actually my girlfriend, but since we've been together 15+ years the better term is definitely partner.

If River is anything like Honey (our previous lab mix), she'll naturally gravitate more to Nancy than me over time, but it will be offset because I will be spending more time with her. Honey loved being my hiking buddy and so far, River has too. We've only gone on one short hike to the nearby river though, other than general short walks.

River is like Honey in so many ways, which is the main reason we picked her. She's a bit more courageous though, especially as she comes out of her shell.

Any accidents from here on out will be our fault. She's doing great, especially after I caught her midstream twice and picked her up. She now fully understands the "gravity" of the situation! ;)

River is and will be getting a lot more socialization than Honey. She loves everyone. She played with the neighbor's dogs for about an hour today.

I absolutely love this dog! Exactly what I wanted. Definitely best case scenario so far. We chose wisely. :)

TJandTheBear said...

15 years? Well, we were together 27 years before we made it official, although it was never really a question.

Stagflationary Mark said...

27 years? That's roughly two centuries in dog years. Nice. :)