Friday, April 6, 2012

They Just Aren't Making Any More... Phasers

In July of 2009, I bought this phaser from It retailed for $28.95 at the time (plus $7.99 shipping and handling). No joke. Hey, what can I say? I keep receipts.

The price is now a whopping $79.95. For those keeping track at home, that's a 176% return on investment.

This confirms a few long standing theories of mine.

1. For most people, phasers are their biggest investment.
2. They just aren't making any more phasers.
3. People will always need a phaser to live.
4. With interest rates so low, phasers have never been more affordable.
5. If you paid your phaser off, it means you probably did not manage your funds efficiently over the years.
6. Phaser activity will remain healthy for some time to come.
7. The continuing shortages of phaser inventory are driving the price gains. There is no evidence of bubbles popping. "Only 2 left in stock--order soon."

See Also:
Sarcasm Disclaimer
David Lereah
David Lereah Watch: David Lereah's Most Corrupt, Foolish and Ridiculous Quotes


Stagflationary Mark said...

I will never make that profit by the way.

1. I can't charge retail prices if I attempt to resell it.

2. I tossed the box and the (di)lithium crystal has been fully drained.

3. I'm a hold to maturity kind of guy. That means "they" can pry the phaser from my cold dead fingers.

Not sure who "they" is. I'm guessing it will eventually be a relative who wished I'd either sold it for $79.99 or kept it in mint condition within its box, lol.

Mr Slippery said...

Let's hope they don't phase out the phaser interest deduction. Since yours is already paid off, it probably wouldn't faze you.

Stagflationary Mark said...

Mr Slippery,

I'm just hoping they don't assess the value of my phaser and slap a recurring property tax on it. That's got tribble written all over it.

As a side note, nothing says "ownership society" like 100+ years of 1% property taxes *and* a 100 year mortgage (due to excessive home equity withdrawals and refinancing). No, really. Nothing says that.

Mr Slippery said...

I wouldn't mind paying the property tax as long as I was sure my phaser was not a fake. There are many Internet Khans and I'd want to make sure I had the real McCoy.

O/T: The six work day was tried back in the 1930s and it worked!

Stagflationary Mark said...

Mr Slippery,

Here's some Lore. I never buy a phaser without a 9 point checklist. Sitting right there at #7 is authenticity. If Data tells me that the phaser is real, then I know it can be Checkov'd.

Authenticity is just Seven of Nine though. The real Crusher is Number One.

1. Can I afford to keep the phaser if property taxes rise exponentially?

From your link:

Since much of what industry produced was no longer aimed at satisfying human physical needs, a four-hour workday, he claimed, was necessary to prevent society from becoming disastrously materialistic.

4 hours would be optimal. At minimum wage it should just about cover the travel expenses to commute. Think of the prosperity! Sigh.