Saturday, June 9, 2012

The Sarcasm Report v.164 (Musical Tribute)

February 20, 2012
Skirts Are Getting Shorter And That's Bullish For The Economy

The higher the hemline, the better the economy looks.

I thought of this as I visited Bloomberg's Energy & Oil Prices site today. As a bonus, Bloomberg offered me the following video as one I might like.

June 6, 2012
Behind the World's Most Comfortable Thong

June 6 (Bloomberg) -- Hanky Panky CEO Lida Orzek talks with Bloomberg's Stephanie Ruhle about the prospects for the company of which 90 percent of the customers are based in the U.S. (Source: Bloomberg)

That topic took me to Canada. That's right. I did a bit of hard hitting investigative journalism. You know what they say. If you want to really know what's going on in the world, "follow the money". And right now, the money is apparently being spent on thongs.

June 8, 2012
Underwear sure to draw a crowd to Girls Night Out

While the underwear alone would be enough to carry this event, there will also be drinks and snacks on hand.

I then headed off to Afghanistan in search of the world's most comfortable military thongs. That's when things really started falling apart.

June 8, 2012
US gen apologizes for Afghan deaths in airstrike

PATROL BASE PUL-I-ALAM, Afghanistan — The top commander of U.S. and NATO troops in Afghanistan offered a somber apology on Friday in an eastern province where officials say 18 civilians — half of them children — were killed in a coalition airstrike this week.

June 9, 2012
Afghan government warns US over 'one-sided' airstrike that killed 18

Raid that killed over a dozen civilians condemned as Afghanistan warns that future raids would be a breach of pact

Thongs? Dead children? Thongs? Dead children? Must we choose between corporate sponsored optimism and anonymous blogging pessimism? Out of desperation and confusion, I opted for both.

What do I know? I'm just an anonymous blogger with a questionable business model. It's probably best to stick with the thong experts. The economy has never looked better! Invest accordionly! What's the worst that could happen?


nanute said...

Invest accordingly, what's the worst that could happen? The accordion thong?

Mr Slippery said...

The accordion is something whose very existence defies logic. How did it happen? Someone said hey, I want to carry a small keyboard around. Then, someone else said, it would be so much better if you had little buttons to press with your other hand since buttons have a long musical history.

Then, the topper, the genius who said, I need the whole thing to wheeze.

Fritz_O said...

Call me crazy but... I don't buy into the whole hemline/economic direction argument. I mean, during the housing bubble blow-off (2002-2005) it wasn't hemlines that were fluctuating, the whole fashion scene at that time seemed to be middle-aged women trying like hell to look good in teenagers clothes. For most of them, it didn't end well, just like housing.

It helps to know that Business Insider is looking out for my portfolio by looking at pictures of women in short skirts. "Skin for the Win"ners of the New World baby!!

Fatboy said...

Finnish metal band w/accordian player

Stagflationary Mark said...


You might be amused to know that not only did my dad play the accordian very well, but he actually taught me to play a song or two. No joke.

I mostly just made it seriously wheeze though. Lack of practice makes imperfect, lol.

Somebody needs to invent the bagaccordionpipes. Tell me you wouldn't pay to hear it and/or pay to make it stop! Win and/or win!!

mab said...

From your dictionary link:

Accordion Hero:

the lame ass version of guitar hero in which you play an accordion. only available in europe (thank god)


Stagflationary Mark said...


Accordion Hero?


mab said...

only available in europe (thank god)

Yeah, I knew the Euro-Zone had problems but I had no idea things were THAT bad.

Stagflationary Mark said...


Here's the most popular song on Accordion Hero. ;)

Cry Baby