Thursday, May 21, 2015

Down with Immigration Reform!

May 5, 2015
CNBC: The billion-dollar unicorn trend is about to go global

Immigrants are hard workers by definition.

I had no idea that hard worker was the definition of immigrant, but it all makes sense now!

Although I was born in Washington State and have lived here all my life, it turns out that I was an immigrant for quite a few years. I then stopped being an immigrant and became a lazy bum. I have no desire to be reformed! I have no desire to work hard again! I like my new easy-going laid-back lifestyle! So down with immigration reform I say!

And whatever you do, don't even think of getting me started on the billion-dollar unicorn trend! You have no idea how close I am to going off on a mythical creature and Candy Mountain rant!

By Definition?

By definition, by definition means that the statement that is being made is a rewording or direct consequence of a definition of the thing being discussed.

However, in practice,
the phrase by definition is carelessly used to make sloppy connections between ideas, while conveying the impression that this connection is an inherent requirement of the rules of logic and language.

If there is one thing I know with absolute certainty, it is that CNBC would never carelessly make sloppy connections between ideas! That's just crazy talk!

I heckle therefore I am, by definition. Hahaha! ;)


Stagflationary Mark said...

For those intetested, the "By Definition?" link offers some very amusing definitions for words such as home and epidemic!

Stagflationary Mark said...

* interested

Rob Dawg said...

I want amnesty. No prosecution for past crimes. I'll go further. 3-6 months to put your affairs in order and leave to join at the back of the line legal applicants.

I resent having the word amnesty hijacked.

dearieme said...

Hijacking the word "amnesty" is a micro-aggression, isn't it?

There ought to be trigger warnings.

Stagflationary Mark said...

Sad day today.

Neighbor found a parakeet and we cared for it. Sweet bird. Really seemed to like people. Thought we would keep it if we couldn't find the owner.

It wasn't meant to be though. Although it seemed healthy, drank our water, and ate our bird-friendly food, it did not survive the night.

Rob Dawg said...

Smart critters. Oftentimes they "escape" to meet their demise on their own terms. Have had several kittehs who did just that. Animals are far more civilized about the end game than we mere humans.

fried said...

I know you are a kind person to have cared for that bird.
Had a different experience last Nov. Wet night, and I heard a persistent noise, that I thought was a distant car alarm (I'm in NYC). Looked out the window and saw a small bird with an orange head sheltering on my windowsill. Took her in, and she (?) was clearly someone's pet as she walked up my arm and sat on my shoulder. Fed her water and Cheerios (I am a dog owner, and it was after 9pm). Called a friend who has birds and she had me leave a message with the Bird Rescue site..(who knew it existed). Got a call next day, owner was in the assisted living place one block over, parrot had been lost for more than 24 hours. A nurse came with a cage to pick up the bird, owner was a distraught disabled woman. Nurse was thrilled with the return of the bird...clearly loved her patient.
The bird survived the Cheerios.

Stagflationary Mark said...

Rob Dawg,

He was such a sweet bird. He will be missed.

Stagflationary Mark said...


For future reference, Cheerios were a fine choice. We've fed our bird an occasional Cheerios snack from time to time.