Quote of the Day

May 3, 2000
The Onion: American People To Live Happily Ever After

And everyone will have the enchanted carriage of their dreams, and an enchanted 401K plan for retirement, and there will be a great, delicious feast every day, and everyone will be pretty and happy. And above them, the great winged Dow-Bird will soar ever higher, and the power of his magical flight will make these things happen.

Oh, sure. There were a few bumps along the way. That's all behind us now though. We can finally look forward to living happily ever after. Praise be to the great winged Dow-Bird!