Sunday, May 31, 2015

Larry Kudlow Has a Plan

May 29, 2015
The GOP needs a 5-percent growth target

So, how about some Republican leadership today, with all the candidates pushing for a 5 percent economic-growth target? It's exactly what we need to get back to America's long-term prosperity trend, which had long ensured our world leadership.

Why stop there? Why not a 10% economic growth target? It's just a target. It's not like it will be part of an actual campaign promise, which we know must always be kept.

Let's set some other "reasonable" targets to ensure our long-term prosperity! There's no reason to just have the one target. Let's shotgun this optimism with brain storming nirvana!

The Every Child Better than Average Target

Why settle for no child left behind? Think about it. If every child in a given classroom becomes smarter than every other child in that same classroom, then infinite paradoxical intelligence would be released! Circular logic for the win!

The World Peace Target

Think of the long-term prosperity that could be unleashed if we didn't "shock and awe" the planet so often, as we search for weapons of mass destruction that only the most prosperous countries must hoard.

The Free Energy Perpetual Motion Machine Target

If we could eliminate all friction from all mechanical systems and somehow also extract extra energy from said systems in sharp defiance of the second law of thermodynamics, then think how little foreign energy we would need! Enough said. This needs to be a priority. The American public deserves no less.

The Permanent End of Torture Target

Think how prosperous we all would be if we someday thought torture simply meant excessive tickling of loved ones, and not the waterboarding it is now associated with.

The Freedom for All Target

Let's be realistic here. We all love the Patriot Act. Please believe me. This communication may be monitored. It is therefore in your best interest to say what I say as I say it. Repeat after me without even the slightest hint of sarcasm (they'll know), "We all love the Patriot Act." There. Now don't you feel better? And more importantly, more prosperous? (Once again, this communication may be monitored. Be smart here. If you've got children, then don't take the risk of answering inappropriately.)

The Infinite Debt Target

If a little debt can lead to a little extra prosperity, then it stands to reason that an infinite debt must lead to an infinite amount of extra prosperity. And who wouldn't want that? Trickle that prosperity down, baby. That's what I'm talking about.

Growing the economy at 10%, with infinitely smart children, world peace, free energy, the end of torture, absolute freedom, and infinite debt can't solve all our problems in 2016, but it's a good start. I therefore urge you to vote for the candidate who sets the best targets!


Anonymous said...

All you forgot was: 5% growth but everybody (who is above average) will get 10% returns on their "investments". It's only logical.

Stagflationary Mark said...


I figured with 30-year treasury yields under 3%, "safe" long-term investment returns of 10% were self evident!

But you are right, I probably should have pointed that out. ;)

dearieme said...

Most plans are just so much 'roo poo.

Stagflationary Mark said...


"Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth." - Mike Tyson

mab said...


Stagflationary Mark said...


We're number 1? ;)

mab said...

Hell with them fellas. Buzzards gotta eat, same as TAPE worms.

Stagflationary Mark said...

They were decently treated. They were decently fed and then they were decently shot.