Saturday, February 5, 2011

The Sarcasm Report v.87 (Musical Tribute)

The Motley Fool offers up some sage commentary that you won't want to miss.

February 2, 2011
The Motley Fool: How the Surplus Became a Deficit

It's simpler than that. We had massive tax cuts, two wars, and a giant recession.

So now we finally know how the surplus became a deficit. It seems so simple now.

Let's dwell on that "giant" recession part though. It sounds like a euphemism for something that was said back in 1998.

June 15, 1998
American "New Economy" -- a giant Ponzi pyramid.

After seeing the collapse of the "Asian tigers" and of "fortress Japan" we may witness the implosion of the American mountain of trillions of dollars of make believe values. This would be an unmitigated disaster for the American workers. But capitalism makes this disaster inevitable.

Click to enlarge.

By my math, we're about 27 million shy of a full Ponzi pyramid. Once we put all 14 million unemployed back to work, we'll need to find 13 million more. We better start soon though, because that trend line built on 5 decades of hard data keeps growing exponentially with or without us.

February 3, 2011
The Motley Fool: How Investors Beat the Great Recession

The worst bear market in a generation sent many investors' portfolios reeling in 2008 and early 2009. But even though the Dow and S&P 500 aren't anywhere near setting new highs yet, many investors have seen their net worth vault past their 2007 levels -- and it didn't take expert stock-picking for them to do it.

In fact, it didn't take any stock-picking. The less stock-picking the better. The real action was in rock-picking. Gold and silver investors made out like bandits! I therefore offer a musical tribute in their honor.

The lyrics make more sense as a tribute if you replace "she" with "gold" and "woman" with "silver".

Look, I'm simply pointing out that precious metals might have given investors a touch too much pleasure. Don't try to read too much into it. What investors do in the privacy of their own homes is their business. ;)

Source Data:
St. Louis Fed: Civilian Unemployment
St. Louis Fed: Unemployed


mab said...


I'm guessing the 27 million American jobs that don't exist are counter-balanced by ~ 150 million new Asian jobs. We're making it up on volume! Volume of debt AND people!

From the 1998 link:

If a sizable number of the present investors decide to take their money out, the giant mountain of "values", inflated by debt and credit, will collapse. When we bear in mind that most of today's investors put their life's savings into this scheme in the expectation of being provided with income out of it upon retiring, we begin to realize what human tragedy lies in store for them.

That's how I see it too. By artificially inflating the stock market, Greensham and Bernanke are aiding the few at the expense of the many. People are "investing" in their own demise in multiple ways.

I'll have no part of it.

Stagflationary Mark said...


Book ideas:

Giant Mountain of "Values" for the Long Run

Are You Missing the Giant Mountain of "Values" Boom?

Why the Giant Mountain of "Values" Will Not Bust

Siegel and Lereah inspire me.

mab said...


Giant Candy Mountain of Values!

It's glorious.

Stagflationary Mark said...


VERY FUNNY! And tragic. Sigh.

Stagflationary Mark said...

For those just tuning in, Candy Mountain is a recurring inside joke on this blog.

Here's something to let you in on it.

G.H. said...

How To Aquire Your Dream Call Center Job -- from the "Missing Manual" series -- The books that should have been in the box!

My diligent and concerted efforts to lose my job created 5.5 jobs in Chindia! It's a productivity miracle! A monumental victory for capitalism!

Stagflationary Mark said...


That's quite a testimonial. I'm convinced!

Do I pay up front or will there be easy monthly payments?

G.H. said...

"Do I pay up front..."

As a matter of fact, you pay in back.

Ten Tips For Increasing Back of Room Sales

5. Speak of "investment" vs. "costs." They are not buying your materials, they are investing in themselves.

It's sounding better all the time isn't it? ;)

Stagflationary Mark said...


I'm following step 10 of course.

10. End with Laughter: People feel like "continuing" with you if you leave them on a high note.

This stuff really works! ;)