Monday, December 22, 2014

The Sarcasm Report v.203

December 16, 2014
U.S. News and World Report: Living Paycheck to Paycheck: 7 Strategies for Survival

If you're always short on cash, here's how to take control of your finances.

Plan for the worst.

Try to save.


Stagflationary Mark said...

November 15, 2014
Working mothers living paycheck to paycheck

“It’s very hard to save when you live paycheck to paycheck,” she said.

Go figure. Sigh. :(

Mr Slippery said...

The first mistake a lot of people make is not picking rich parents. I mean, if you make that mistake when you are born, it is a lot harder to get out of poverty.

Stagflationary Mark said...

Mr Slippery,

Indeed. We should write an article together.

The second mistake a lot of people make is not being born at the right time. It is a lot easier to pay for college in the past. A college degree also stands out better on a resume if fewer people have them. And lastly, investing in the 1980s and 1990s can generally be a lot more profitable than investing in the 2000s and 2010s.

The third mistake a lot of people make is thinking that our generally expanding food stamp program is a sign of long-term prosperity for all. That's a mistake. People should spend more time training to be the CEOs of multinational corporations. That's where the real money is.

Work smarter people!

(Thanks for getting the sarcasm flowing in the comments of this sarcasm report, lol. Sigh.)

Mr Slippery said...

Yellen tells the poor outright what to do in this article...

Yellen, who opened the Conference on Economic Opportunity and Inequality at the Federal Reserve Bank of Boston, said early childhood education and other programs targeted to children, affordable higher education, and increased business ownership could help restore upward mobility, which has stalled in the United States.

And one more thing: Do what the rich do, and pass on the wealth.

Why do poor people not get this? Pass on their wealth: EBT card, salvation army clothes, the Trans-Am on blocks in front of the trailer, and of course, the unpaid car note.

Instant generational wealth transfer! They can then roll that windfall into a successful small business right next to the Wal*Mart.

Stagflationary Mark said...

Mr Slippery,

And one more thing: Do what the rich do, and pass on the wealth.

She likes puns!

Rich #1: Would you like more wealth?
Rich #2: Maybe. How much wealth?
Rich #1: It's a penny. Right there by your shoe.
Rich #2: Ah, no thanks. I'm going to pass on the wealth. Not worth my time.
Rich #1: I see your point. If each penny takes one second to pick up then you'd only make $36 per hour.
Rich #2: If there were enough pennies, we could pay Chinese factory workers $1 per hour and pocket the difference.
Rich #1: Perhaps we could send one or lobbyists to DC and get a penny dropping job creation bill introduced.
Rich #2: That's smart thinking, son. You learn that in college?
Rich #1; Of course not, dad. I learned it from you! Hahaha!
Rich #2: Hahaha!

Stagflationary Mark said...

"one of our lobbyists"

No idea where the missing letters went!