FAQ: Federal Reserve vs. Crack Dealer

Relationship with Government?

The former works for it. The latter is hunted by it.

Drug of Choice?

The former deals debt while looking for a crack in the system. The latter deals crack while looking for debt in the system.

Policy Response to an Addiction?

The former prescribes more of the same. The latter sells more of the same.

Free Samples?

The former will offer many years of free samples, but only after an overdose. The latter may offer up to one free sample, but only before an overdose.

Competitors?

The former is a monopoly. The latter must compete with rival gangs.

Shootings in Response to a Crisis?

The former may be shot by magazines for their person of the year covers. The latter may be shot each year by officers using full magazines who are working undercover.

Busts?

The former will want a bailout. The latter will want bail to get out.

That Blows?

The former will think bank. The latter will think pipe.

End of the Party?

The former waits for the fat lady to sing. "Damn. Retailers too flush with merchandise! Nobody could have seen it coming!!" The latter waits for the fat lady to ring. "Damn. Better flush the merchandise! She says the police are coming!!"