Wednesday, June 3, 2015

The Crock of @#$% Report v.010

Please consider putting on the hip waders. The excrement is flowing again.

June 2, 2015
Why GE's CEO shops at Walmart

Talk about click bait! I must know why! This will, of course, end very badly now that my expectations of being shocked are running so high. Oops. I just spoiled some of the fun for you. Sorry about that.

What is the most un-CEO task that you do at GE? “I like to go to Walmart and check to see where our light bulbs are placed,” Immelt replied.

1. That is not what he replied. His actual quote was:

“I like to go to Walmart and store check to see where our light bulbs are placed."

If you are going to directly quote someone, then make sure you actually do. Otherwise, someone else might come along and call the quote a crock of @#$%.

2. Why was store check changed to just check? Could it be that most people realize that store checking is not shopping and it would therefore ruin the premise of the article's headline? Sounds like a crock of @#$% thing to do!

3. The definition of "shop" requires one to actually buy something at a store or a website. He did not claim to "shop" at Walmart. As the CEO of GE, he only claimed to find joy in seeing his GE bulbs displayed on Walmart shelves. No proof of shopping with a headline that claims he does shop means, you guessed it, another crock of @#$%.

4. Is store checking an un-CEO task? Keep in mind that a part of each bulb sold eventually finds its way to his paycheck. Perhaps it would depend on what he does if he witnesses a customer placing a bulb in their cart. Does he instantly dance a jig while laughing hysterically? Very unprofessional. Very un-CEO. Or does he do the professional thing and wait to celebrate until he can find some privacy? Very professional. Very CEO. I strongly suspect the latter. That would therefore heavily imply yet another crock of @#$%. It was most likely not the un-CEO task that it was claimed to be.

5. Or perhaps he thinks that he is the only CEO on the planet curious enough to do store checks? If that's the case, then he's clearly deluding himself with a crock of @#$% theory.

Five crocks of @#$%? Hope you had the hip waders handy. Could be a personal best, lol. Sigh.

3 comments:

Stagflationary Mark said...

I might believe that CEO Immelt of GE personally buys his GE bulbs and most of his other household needs at his local Walmart if King Salman of Saudi Arabia personally buys his gasoline and most of his convenience snacks at his local gas station.

What can I say? I'm making every effort to keep an open mind.

I did say might though. I may also need to see monkeys fly out of my bottom. Who can really say for sure? ;)

Joseph Constable said...

I wonder if Fortune uses algorithms to create headlines.

Stagflationary Mark said...

Joseph Constable,

Perhaps words are chosen at random repeatedly until the potential headline has a very high "click bait" rating. ;)