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One and only one of the following two articles is intended to be satire. Can you tell which one without clicking on the links? I'll give you a hint. One is from CNBC and the other is from America's finest news source.
June 9, 2015
Experts Say Best Option Now Is Keeping Nation As Comfortable As Possible Till End
Residents say that letting the U.S. pass peacefully is better than having to watch it linger on in agony like the United Kingdom.
June 9, 2015
Jack Ma thinks World War III will be a good thing
It will not, however, pit countries against each other, but instead will see the likes of China and the U.S. teaming up to defeat societal ills.
Realtor.com Reports Active Inventory Up 26.1% YoY
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*What this means:* On a weekly basis, Realtor.com reports the
year-over-year change in active inventory and new listings. On a monthly
basis, they report t...
1 hour ago
8 comments:
The Onion has been selling truth as satire for a couple years now. Usually their fake stories read more sensibly than real ones.
Who Struck John,
They say good comedy has at least a little truth in it. The Onion often pushes the upper limit, lol.
You have to create societal ills before you can "defeat" them. And remember, we don't sell cures, just never ending treatments. Is the treatment worse than the disease? Who really cares? At least we appear to be trying.
Progress and prosperity, baby. That's what we're selling here!
mab,
That's what we're selling here!
I think we need an out.
1. That's what we're selling... out here!
2. That's what we're selling out... here!
Proper placement of the dramatic pause makes all the difference in the world.
Selling out, baby. That's what I'm talking about.
In Texas, There's No Business Like 'Going Out of Business'
Customers rooting through the stacks of oriental rugs in the store he opened on a busy road in North Dallas would sometimes say how sorry they were that he was going out of business. "We're not," Mr. Hassankola told them. "It's just the name of the store."
I think we need an out.
We do. We also need an in. What's it all ab"out"? Cash-in in and cash-in out!
Look, in and out of necessity, we have a race to the bottom system. So we need to get in on the ground floor and out at the top floor. R"in"se and repeat.
"In"flation, deflation - whatever, all good. And always remember, it's the reflation that keeps it going and going and going.
mab,
I think you really nailed it!
INcrimINatINg!
fINgerprINtINg!
INdoctrINatINg!
IN is the new OUT!
It's all ab"out" options. Ops for short. And sometimes black-ops!
Okay, since Google is a company that respects privacy I'll share this with you. A few days ago, I was up on the roof cleaning the gutters. They were completely stopped up. Bare hands, no gloves. All of a sudden I felt the leaves and other gook wriggling "in" my hand. No joke. Freaked me "out". So what was it? A salamander! A black salamander! What the hell was a salamander doing two stories up "in" my gutter?
I can't remember the last time I saw or even thought ab"out" a salamander. And then it hit me. It sank "in". Deep.
I'm tellin ya, this NSA sh%t is getting "out" of hand. It's "out"rageous. it's also "in"genious when you think ab"out" it. We're all on the look-"out" for black helicopters. And people have generators and candles for black-"outs". But who's on the look-out for salamanders? Talk ab"out" black-"ops"!
mab,
Black salamanders in gutters? What will "they" think up next? Yikes!
My last dog was a black long-haired Dachshund Terrier mix.
Her name was Bogi, which is clearly a very black-ops kind of name. It was actually short for Boginivitch (said so on her adoption papers, no joke).
Russian spy? She really had a way of reading people and ants, black ones. One day I saw her staring at the floor, motionless. Well, almost. Her head was slowly turning. After a few minutes of this, I finally decided to see what it was that interested her so much.
An ant was on the move and she was tracking its progress.
NSA ant? Nanotantnology? Not on her watch! Unfortunately, our current dogs lack that attention to detail. They are both lightly colored, you know, like sheep. Oh, sure. One will bark if the Home Advisor TV commercial plays that doorbell sound, but it's just not the same. Seems more like a Pavlov response to mass media advertising. Very sheeplike.
The doorbell is less effective on me, assuming the marketing jerks at Home Advisor actually want my business. Not a big fan of the whole Pavlov thing to get my attention, nor are at least a few others.
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