Friday, April 25, 2008

Feeling Lucky?

Here's stimulus: What you need to know

The last 2 digits of your Social Security number apparently determines the date it will be sent to you (assuming you don't have direct deposit).

00-09 May 16
10-18 May 23
19-25 May 30
26-38 June 6
39-51 June 13
52-63 June 20
64-75 June 27
76-87 July 4
88-99 July 11

Not that I believe in luck, but my FREE money is being sent May 16th. Talk about lucky!! That means that my gasoline tank will be filled sooner than yours more than likely. That will also mean that the price of gasoline should be higher for you. Sorry about that!

However, there's still hope for you. If you borrow the money now, you can fill your tank before me. Good for you!

Or can you? Now that I know you might consider filling your tank before me, I suspect you'll do it on May 15th. That would be very smart. Very smart indeed. Yeah, so here's what I'm thinking now. I'm going to fill my tank on the 14th just to be safe.

Of course, now you know the 14th is looking pretty good to me. You weren't born yesterday. The 13th. That's what you are thinking now, isn't it? Well, I'm already starting to like the looks of the 12th! Mwuhahahaha!

The 11th you say? Let's just cut to the chase [scene]. Race you there!!!

Isn't the inflationary game fun? I'm having a hoot!

This should probably be yet another sarcasm report, huh?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hahaha. I'm an xxx-xx-xx07 myself.

I saw that table a few weeks ago. My first thought was: "Woo-hoo, I get a jump on everyone to the hoarding." Second thought (I kid you not) was: "Mark would be so jealous."

Now that I read most people are going to use their stimulus to pay down debt I'm a little miffed. I guess hoarding, now that every Philipino with a grass hut is doing it, is passe'.

Then again, they said TIPs were passe' too. From the looks of Wall St. the rush is on buying stocks before everyone else. As the boss in Office Space would say, "Ummm, yeah..." I think I'll buy the July down-side volatility instead.

Stagflationary Mark said...

AllanF,

Second thought (I kid you not) was: "Mark would be so jealous."

LOL! Not to rub it in, but I'm actually an xxx-xx-xx01. No joke!

I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire [Could he afford] six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk? - Dirty Harry

I have altered it slightly to keep up with the times. It was a 1971 movie. The story writers clearly didn't know how bad it could get.