Guard Dog Training

River barks nonstop when trucks deliver packages to our home (or a neighbor's home), but patiently watches when trucks remove packages from our home (or a neighbor's home).

I don't mean to brag, but I think we've done an exceptional job with her training. Perhaps I should write a book? Hahaha! :)

We’ve Got a Package!

River takes package deliveries very seriously. Due to the pandemic, she's had a lot of practice.

I don't normally tease her like this. Also know that she always gets a treat each time there is a delivery. :)

Gamestomped

I’d comment on GameStop (GME) again today, but another picture’s worth another thousand words.

And no, it isn't the same picture as the last one, or a mirrored version of it. Wasn't even taken the same month. I kid you not. If you are experiencing serious déjà vu, blame the GameStop traders.

Gameflop

 

I’d comment on GameStop (GME) today, but a picture’s worth a thousand words.

Doom, Gloom, and Dogs

January 13, 2021
The Guardian: Top scientists warn of 'ghastly future of mass extinction' and climate disruption

Dealing with the enormity of the problem requires far-reaching changes to global capitalism, education and equality, the paper says. These include abolishing the idea of perpetual economic growth...

Reading all of this doom and gloom during a pandemic is a bit much, even for an Illusion of Prosperity blogger. I therefore attempt an escape from reality to the relative safety of my German Shepherd puppy memories.

Wow! That actually worked? I feel so much better now. In fact, I'm barely even thinking about how our very own loser of a president recently incited violence, death, and looting at our very own U.S. Capitol.

Dog therapy for the win! Let the healing begin!!

Standing Back and Standing Down

We'll be standing back and standing down for at least 4 years! Woohoo!

P.S. Best election year ever. 🙂

Our New Dog Just Signed Up on Twitter

Her name is River. She will be 8 weeks old tomorrow, and we'll be bringing her home. You can follow her story on Twitter @RiverGSD. It's just getting started. No politics. No religion. No economics. Just tons of pictures and a lifetime of realtime memories (hopefully)!

Real prosperity, baby. That's what I'm talking about. :)

Man's Best Friend

April 25, 2017
Dog doesn’t recognise owner after he lost weight – until he sniffs him

Trust us, you’ll want to watch this video of a dog overjoyed to reunite with his owner after a hospital stay.

The trust is completely warranted. :)

Best (Nosedive) in Show!

The Dog Who Knew Real Prosperity

Filmed in 2014. Rest in peace, Honey.

Why I Read America's Finest News Source

June 10, 2016
The Onion: 7-Year-Old Unable To Maintain Single Cohesive Storyline While Playing With Action Figures

BROCKTON, MA—Saying the plot was jumping all over the place and had become extremely hard to follow, onlookers confirmed this afternoon that 7-year-old Brendan Milner has been unable to maintain a single cohesive storyline while playing with his action figures.

Perhaps I am just a boy who never grew up, but this article is hilarious to me. Been there, done that. Well, 40+ years ago. Hahaha!

Nothing beats life's simple things! A good laugh! Playing with dogs! Staring up at the stars!

You don't want to negotiate the price of simple things you buy every day. - Jeff Bezos

Dammit Jeff! You're totally wrecking the mood! Hahaha!

Have a great weekend! :)

The Grass Is Always Greener

April 9, 2016
Fortune: What You Can Do Every Day to Be More Successful

I want to expand my creative and my rational powers with the ability to mine the waves of data that will increasingly surround us — and only that can be done with an extra day in the week.

10,000 years from now, the universe will not care how successful you were. It will not care how much money you acquired or how many financial problems you solved. It will not care how many hours you worked in a cubicle, then an office, then a larger corner office with windows. Of this, I am quite certain.

Today, your dog will care about the success of taking a walk though. To each his own.


Click to enlarge.

The No @#$% Sherlock Report v.003

August 26, 2015
Despite stock fall, financial health of many is still solid

Add it up, and the evidence suggests that many Americans — though certainly not all — are doing comparatively well.

Many? Was "most" too strong a word? Why? Couldn't we make it to at least half? Is that how f%^ked up our country really is?

If I was throwing a party at our house for the top 1% and even 1/10000th of them showed up, do you know what I would say?

1. OMG! There are way too many of you! I don't have enough chairs!!
2. Isn't it great to live in a country where so many of you are doing comparatively awesome? Thanks so much for taking the time out of your busy schedules to attend! There are burgers on the BBQ and the refreshments are in the cooler. Enjoy!
3. For those interested, we'll be showing a movie about the declining middle class on the TV in the family room. Or, alternatively, you can play with our dogs in the backyard. Wow! You all want to play with our dogs? I didn't expect so many of you to be pet lovers! Fantastic!!

Two Things Worth a Billion Dollars

August 19, 2015
This messaging app for teens is now worth $1 billion



If you do not believe that the Dachshund is worth as much as the messaging app, then you are entitled to your opinion. I gotta tell you though, as a former owner of a Dachshund Terrier mix, that you are taking a big risk here. ;)

The Sarcasm Report v.228

July 25, 2015
Rent the Runway's designer closet tops $800 million

Amid a recession and stagnant wages, she saw that there was a way to get young women into higher quality clothing.

My top priorities when confronted with recessions and stagnant wages have always been:

1. Higher quality clothing.
2. Bigger television with crisper images.
3. More powerful stereo with surround sound.
4. Bigger and more luxurious apartment.
5. Mercedes Benz S-Class. Enough said.
6. Puppies!

Given enough easy credit, you too can live the renting and leasing dream!

December 6, 2012
Puppies for Rent - a real live business

The puppies are available for rent for a fee of $15 for one hour or $25 for two.

The more you rent, the more you save!

The 10 Defense Readiness Conditions (DEFCON) of a Dog Owner

1. Good dog.
2. Stay. Good dog.
3. Sit. Stay. Good dog.
4. Come. Sit. Stay. Good dog.
5. No! Come. Sit. Stay. Good dog.
6. Why would you eat that? No! Come. Sit. Stay. Good dog.
7. What did you just eat? Why would you eat that? No! Come. Sit. Stay. Good dog.
8. F#%^!! What did you just eat? Why would you eat that? No! Come. Sit. Stay. Good dog.
9. Oh s%^t!! F#%k! What did you just eat? Why would you eat that? No! Come. Sit. Stay. Good dog.
10. What are you doing? Oh s%^t! F#%k! What did you just eat? Why would you eat that? No! Come. Sit. Stay. Good dog.

The goal is to never reach level 6! Hahaha! :)

This post inspired by:

Here Are 14 Things You Will Say To Your Kids A Million Goddamn Times

Hilarious!!

What You Will Need to Survive the Coming Apocalypse

A loyal dog!



Um, two loyal dogs! Two! ;)

Introducing Future Fed Chairman Nappy McWaterspan III

The grand maestro of liquidity protection! Ample ivory tower potty training! Absolutely guaranteed to not fall asleep at the heel! But even if he does, can create an infinite number of good cents to get us through the ruff times!

Yet Another Future Fed Chairman in the Making

More liquidity? You got it boss! QE1! QE2! QE3! QE4! I'll flood the whole #%^*ing system if I have to! OMG! Bank run! More! More! More! I'll stop spraying when you stop running! I swear! Mwuhahaha!

Future Fed Chairman in the Making

Is there enough liquidity in the system? I don't know. Let me check the pool. It seems okay. No, maybe not. Are those bubbles? How am I supposed to know? Maybe I should cut interest rates? Or maybe I should raise them? Hello? Anyone? Oh, crap. Let me check the pool again. Hold on. I think I see something. Looks like me. Oh, wait. Might be my reflection. Is this all just an illusion? I better do something. Or would it be better to do nothing? This job is so hard. I touch the pool and the outlook changes. Is it supposed to do that? Has anyone ever done this before? Say what? I'm in charge? How did that happen? I better check the pool again. Do I get in the pool? I'm not sure. What if I can't get out? This job is so frustrating. F%^k it! I'm raising rates. No, I'm cutting them. Crap. Maybe I should just keep monitoring the situation. I know. I'll check the pool again. Maybe something has changed.