The Sarcasm Report v.134

October 4, 2011
Time to check out Saks, Tiffany?

The economy is slowing, and most consumers are cutting back -- but it looks like the well-heeled have barely noticed. That means the stocks of luxury retailers may be in for lift.

Yes, indeed! Luxury retailers are overdue for a substantial lift from these rock bottom prices.

Nordstrom was lifted a whopping 633% since its November 21, 2008 intraday low of $6.61. It's now trading at 2007 levels. Can't you see the bargain it now represents? They are practically giving the stock away at these prices.

Saks was only lifted 491% since its March 10, 2009 intraday low of $1.50 though. It is not yet back to 2007 levels but we can always hope!

Tiffany was lifted 271% since its March 9, 2009 intraday low of $16.70. It's actually managed to make it above 2007 levels (barely). That precious metal exposure? Genius!

Coach was lifted 362% since its March 6, 2009 intraday low of $11.41. It too is now trading at 2007 levels again. Woohoo!

As a group, they've actually managed to claw their way back to pre-crash levels. Isn't that fantastic? If we can believe that the "economy is slowing", "consumers are cutting back", and "the well-heeled have barely noticed" again then this would seem the perfect time to load up on luxury retailers. No doubt about it. It worked so great the last time!



Buzz: According to my navi-computer, the...
Woody: Shut up! Just shut up, you idiot!
Buzz: Sheriff, this is no time to panic.
Woody: This is the perfect time to panic!