Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Is It Too Much to Ask?

Here's my wish list for 2012.

1. Sustainable World Peace
2. The Next Presidential Election Will Solve All of Our Problems
3. Real Gold Painlessly Appears Out of My Ass

I'm feeling pretty good about my list. I think there's a good chance that one of them may come true.

I should probably mention that I had dental work done earlier today. I managed to swallow half of a gold crown. It has sharp edges since it was cut in half as part of the removal process. Seriously.

I feel really selfish for saying this but...

If just one thing on the list can come true in 2012 then please let it be the last one!

The Goose That Laid the Golden Eggs

"A cottager and his wife had a Hen that laid a golden egg every day. They supposed that the Hen must contain a great lump of gold in its inside, and in order to get the gold they killed it. Having done so, they found to their surprise that the Hen differed in no respect from their other hens. The foolish pair, thus hoping to become rich all at once, deprived themselves of the gain of which they were assured day by day."

I don't want anyone getting any crazy ideas! At best, this is just a one time event and not the source of everlasting prosperity, lol.


Mr Slippery said...

I think it is karma for leaving the church of gold. But seriously, I hope you are OK and it doesn't cause any distress.

fried said...

since you are already distressed, and waiting for your payoff, I thought you might like to know my saga with Treasurydirect. On Friday afternoon, I tried to log into my account to do the ibond thing, and found the site down. No biggie, I figured to do it Saturday instead. But the site was down all weekend...and on Monday morning, I found my account was locked.
I sent an email, called the direct line (holding for 31 minutes) and left a voice mail following their prompt. By afternoon, no answers. I tried all again, then contacted my congressman's office--Nadler of Manhattan, figuring his staff would have some juice. Jessica called her contact at Treasury, but at 5:03, he was already gone. We agreed to try again on Tuesday, am. Jessica called Treasury contact again, and I went thru email, voice mail, and direct calling..again, no answers. I finally got a call from a Treasury person late this afternoon (Wed.) who unlocked my account. When I asked if they had been hacked, he said, oh no, they had just been hit with an overwhelming number of site requests. So, they were hacked, I'm guessing. He also said that thousands of accounts were locked, and it would take 5 days or so to contact the owners.
Just some things to think about...Treaurydirect is not so customer friendly, and certainly not forthcoming with info when the site is down...

Stagflationary Mark said...

Mr Slippery,

I'm a dragon apparently and this is The Year of the Dragon, which is supposedly very lucky.

Nothing says lucky like tons of dental work, swallowing sharp metallic things, a sick cat, a dog with stitches removed too soon (then replaced with staples), and a check reorder with the checks going to the wrong address (see my next reply).

With good fortune like this, who needs misfortune?

Stagflationary Mark said...


Wow! That's quite the treasury adventure.

My day included a trip to the bank to find out why the checks I reordered on the 10th and shipped on the 13th still weren't here.

It turns out that my local bank changed its address. The checks therefore went to the wrong post office box. It was better than I feared though. I was picturing fugitives on an identity theft crime spree. That's still possible of course. This is the Year of the Water Dragon and my luck cup continues to overflow, lol. Sigh.

TJandTheBear said...

Geez, Mark, I thought for sure you'd be all over the Treasury considering negative interest bills!

Stagflationary Mark said...

tj and the bear,

I am certainly watching the 20-year TIPS with morbid fascination. Will it hit 0%? I thought real rates would fall, but that decline has been amazing (much to the ongoing dismay of Jeremy Siegel and his rising rate predictions based on rear view mirror prosperity).

mab said...


I managed to swallow half of a gold crown.

I guess it's "safe" to say that you are now offal-ly rich! Talk about a "store" of value!

You've had quite a streak of hard luck in 2012. The good news is that there's probably a hit country song in there somewhere, especially if one of your horses comes up lame.

Hey, I'm just looking for a "silver" lining - at least I didn't make a cheap crack about your "gold" (intestinal) lining.

One last thought - please don't do a "eureka" post!

mab said...


No (bed) panning for gold posts either!

Mr Slippery said...

Since we are punning around...

This might be your crowning achievement. Your capstone.

Your experience could also be a beer commercial: tastes grate and less filling.

At least your sense of humor is intact, which should take the bite out of it.

Stagflationary Mark said...

mab & Mr Slippery,

I just hope I don't have to pay a golden retriever in the emergency room.

These puns are going to the dogs. ;)

Fritz_O said...

Speaking of gold:

Jim Grant is Ron Paul's Pick to Head Fed, Gingrich's Pick to Study Return to Gold Standard...

I usually tire of Mish's gold salesmanship but I agree with the bolded part of this statement:

"Grant cites an error in 1925 in which the Bank of England set the price of gold too high. The opposite side of the coin is that if the price is set too low, is market participants will redeem all their paper dollars for gold, hoarding it."

Read the whole thing for context (it's short) but my question is, do you agree that the $$ of gold would skyrocket if "the US went to a 100% gold-back dollar"?

Stagflationary Mark said...


Read the whole thing for context (it's short) but my question is, do you agree that the $$ of gold would skyrocket if "the US went to a 100% gold-back dollar"?

I read your comment (and the article) last night and slept on it.

First, I am of the opinion that we will never return to a gold standard. If anything, an oil and/or plutonium standard makes more sense to me. I just don't see a modern war fought over gold. Would we invade China if they hoarded too much gold? I kind of doubt it.

That implies that although I was a gold (and silver) investor from 2004 to 2006, there's also more than a small part of me that truly believes that gold is a "barbaric" relic.

With that said, I will answer your question with a few questions (slightly tongue-in-cheek).

Would the $$ of toilet paper skyrocket if the US went to a 100% toilet paper backed dollar? Or would the "free market" price for toilet paper set right now continue to be in effect?

On the off chance that we do adopt a toilet paper backed dollar, perhaps it would be best to stock up on it. It is currently extremely cheap relative to gold.

In all seriousness, just how much cheaper do gold investors think toilet paper will become? A skyrocketing gold price implies that they believe that toilet paper will become a lot cheaper (relative to gold). I am extremely skeptical.

Of course, the price of toilet paper could skyrocket too I suppose and keep the relative value between toilet paper and gold at least somewhat balanced. However, if the purpose of a gold standard is to guarantee stable pricing and the first thing that happens under a gold standard is that the price of toilet paper explodes higher, then what exactly went wrong?

Stagflationary Mark said...

Here's a bonus thought (very tongue-in-cheek).

What would happen to the price of Facebook stock do if the US went to a 100% Facebook-backed dollar?

Perhaps Facebook investors know something we don't? ;)

P.S. I have no desire to invest in Facebook. Perhaps I am a barbaric relic too. I do not have a Facebook account nor do I desire one.

Stagflationary Mark said...

That's what I get for rearranging the sentence structure and not double-checking my work.

I meant the following of course.

What would happen to the price of Facebook stock if the US went to a 100% Facebook-backed dollar?

MaxedOutMama said...

Bran is your friend, my friend.

There, there, I'm sure it will all come out right in the end.

I can't think when I've laughed so hard.

Stagflationary Mark said...


I just want everyone to know that when it comes to gallows humor, all is fair game to me. Even when it comes to my own ass! Hahaha! :)