Mister Peabody's Improbable Investment Machine

In last week's episode, our dog hero found himself chasing yield, much to the dismay of his boy Sherman.

June 22, 2015
How Reaching for Yield Ends

A more egregious example has been the Pimco High Income Fund (PHK). I started writing about this closed-end fund last April when it was trading at over a 53% premium to its net asset value (NAV). You read that correctly. Investors were so enthralled by the yield-to-NAV of 17.7% they were willing to pay $1.53 for a $1.00 of assets.

Which only goes to show that some junk investments make no cents.

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Mister Peabody

The Power of Real Time Tracking

Site Meter

Site Meter's comprehensive real time website tracking and counter tools give you instant access to vital information and data about your sites audience.

As seen in Site Meter's tool at the bottom of my blog:

The statistics for visitors from the last 15637 minutes are not yet available.

Step aside Department of Homeland Security. There's a new and improved free-market capitalism player in town. ;)

China Suspected of Killing Patriotic American in Maine

And so it begins...

July 5, 2015
Police: Man shoots off firework from top of his head, dies

CALAIS, Maine (AP) — A young man who was drinking and celebrating the Fourth of July tried to launch a firework off the top of his head, fatally injuring himself, authorities said Sunday.

1. Was the firework composed of explosive materials?
2. Was it manufactured in China with intent to explode on US soil?
3. Other than not drinking, reading all of the warning labels, and using some common sense, is there any possible way he could have known that setting a fireworks mortar tube off from the top of his head would be dangerous?

Remember: Fireworks don't kill people, governments kill people. My client's family is therefore entitled to $5 million in compensatory damages and an additional $15 million in punitive damages.

Shame on me. Hey, at least I didn't bring up the Darwin Awards. Oops.

Rhetorical Question of the Day

There are not many persons who know what wonders are opened to them in the stories and visions of their youth; for when as children we learn and dream, we think but half-formed thoughts, and when as men we try to remember, we are dulled and prosaic with the poison of life. - H.P. Lovecraft, writer of horror fiction

There’s a ton of non-paying internships and the places you can intern for no pay are awesome. - Madison Pffaf, age 20, third-year student at the University of North Carolina

Why am I suddenly dulled and prosaic with the poison of life?

Happy Dependence Day!

We depend on the Middle East to send us a never ending supply of cheap oil!

We depend on food stamps to help feed 45.6 million Americans!

We depend on an ever growing debt to keep this economy going!

We depend on the Fed to prevent economic bubbles from forming!

We depend on our weapons of mass destruction to stop other countries from using their weapons of mass destruction! So far, so good! Knock on wood.

We depend on the largest prison system in the world to protect pot-smoking Americans from themselves! And nothing says protection like a felony conviction with an ample jail sentence. That's just the kind of thing that employers want to see on a resume before deciding where the highest paying jobs will go!

We depend on peaceful cooperation within the halls of Congress to keep this country on the right path! The alternative would be a stalemate of dysfunctional proportions too horrific to imagine!

We depend on the Patriot Act to protect our freedoms! Yay! Freedoms!

We depend on torture (waterboarding) to stop the spread of terrorism! It's "bound" to work! Pun intended!

We depend on China to send us cheap hand-made fireworks so that we can really enjoy the spirit of the 4th of July!

Fireworks

In the United States, fireworks displays are a popular patriotic tradition on the Fourth of July, but almost all of the fireworks exploded in the US are hand-made in China.

But most of all, we depend on sarcasm to protect us from going stark raving mad. How much? We think it's a lot more than we think, lol. Sigh.

The Sarcasm Report v.217

If you've been reading my blog, then you learned earlier today that younger Americans oftentimes think they are worse off than they think.

I have just found out that older Americans, such as myself, can fall into the same thinking trap though. And I gotta tell you, that's pretty scary.

10 Reasons Sarcastic People Are Smarter Than You Think

There are several studies out that are now showing that sarcastic people are smarter than you think.

Deep down, I always knew that sarcastic people were smarter than I thought. It's nice to have some actual scientific evidence supporting the theory.

What does this say about my readers though? I must be careful on this blog. Anyone willing to read the 217th sarcasm report, without actually knowing more about its contents, is clearly attempting to accumulate sarcasm.

Why? And for what purpose? Are they simply trying to hoard the free sarcasm now in case the price of sarcasm goes up? Smart. Or are they attempting to build SMDs (Sarcasms of Mass Destruction)? Diabolically smart!

They are excellent at emotional warfare.

Holy crap! I knew it! It's even worse than I thought! ;)

Your 4th of July Moment of Zen

July 3, 2015
Generation Angst: Younger Americans Starting to 'Freak Out' About Retirement

The unknown is scary, and oftentimes they think they are worse off than they think. - Josh Nelson, Founder of Keystone Financial Services

Secure Your Long-Term Future Now by Investing in the Weapons of World War IV

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. - Albert Einstein

July 3, 2015
CNBC: Stocks to own for the next 239 years

Weapons have certainly been around since the nation's founding, but the machinery made by Lockheed Martin would have left George Washington speechless.

There are, of course, other ways to play this. One could always build a survivalist bunker now that could potentially stand up to the weapons of mass destruction of the distant future.

Fixed fortifications are monuments to man's stupidity. - George S. Patton

Hmm. Perhaps it is best to just stick with the "sure thing" Lockheed Martin stock instead and hope for the best.

That said, sticks are still free for those who know where to look. The return on investment, over the long-term, could therefore be spectacular! And don't forget that a properly placed stick fired at a high velocity could grant you complete access to all of your opponent's sticks.

Think of it as compound bow interest.



In all seriousness, if CNBC really thinks that weapons will be one of the best investments over the next 239 years then I have only one thing to say:

Clown horn time.



You better hope that I am right to think this way.

January 23, 2015
Doomsday Clock moved closer to midnight

Noting that nuclear trends are moving backwards, the Science and Security Board's Sharon Squassoni pointed out that weapons modernization programs and disarmament have "ground to a halt."

Perhaps weapons can be a good investment for a time, but at some point we will all become victims of their success. Based on the human history of never letting a powerful weapon go to waste, I have few doubts about that.