Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Great News: We Have Solved All of Life's Mysteries

The following chart shows the 24-month moving average of physical, engineering, and life sciences research employment.

Click to enlarge.

The naysayers thought this economy couldn't create parabolic growth in hard science research again? This chart proves they were wrong! Parabolic growth indeed! Prosperity, baby. That's what I'm talking about.

In all seriousness, now that we have solved all of life's mysteries, we can usher in a new dark age of innuendo, hearsay, rumors, speculation, gossip, whispers, laundry balls, secrecy, suspicions, conspiracies, closed door meetings, eye witness testimony, faith, beliefs, Dianetics, intelligent design, opinions, trust, confidence, assurances, suppositions, conjectures, guesswork, presumptions, assumptions, astrology, séances, crystal healing, bloodletting, snake oil, colon cleansing, urine therapy, psychic surgery, channeling, ESP, ancient astronautics, perpetual motion, free energy, brainwashing, parapsychology, superstitions, paganism, rituals, sacrifices, old wives' tales, fishermen stories, chance, coincidences, mystic arts, the dismal sciences, illusionary prosperity, Mad Money, Fast Money, and last but not least, misinterpreted sarcasm!!

Whew! *deep breath*

Doesn't that sound wonderful?

November 25, 2014
The Onion: Nation Doesn’t Know If It Can Take Another Bullshit Speech About Healing

“I honestly don’t know if I’m physically capable of listening to another community leader recite the same unbearable garbage about how it’s time for an open and honest dialogue.”

Source Data:
BLS: CES Databases


Anonymous said...

I assume you've stumbled across this guy in your blog travels.


It really doesn't have anything to do with the "decline of the empire", really. It's more about human nature and bullshit (I guess that was redundant).

If you haven't checked it out, you might enjoy it.

(Disclaimer: it's not me)

Stagflationary Mark said...


I have not seen that site and I am sure I will enjoy reading it.

Believe it or not, I actually spend more time reading optimistic news. If scientists ever find a "heckling" gene, I suspect that I have it, lol. Sigh.

The ones with lists are the most fun. You know, "10 Reasons You Can't Lose Money..."

When I see things like that, I MUST CLICK on them. Not sure what good it does anyone for me to do that though. I can't remember ever clicking on an advertisement. *shrug shoulders*