Wednesday, June 24, 2015

The Crock of @#$% Report v.011

June 24, 2015
CNBC: Secret signal to buy stocks

Cash is piling up on the sidelines as Wall Street sentiment turns cautious. But could this be a signal to buy? CNBC's Deirdre Bosa investigates.

1. Everyone loves a secret. And when I say that I really mean that all the people over at CNBC looking to provide a never ending stream of daily click bait love it.

2. Cash has been piling up on the sidelines for more than a century. It's almost like the Federal Reserve has a monetary printing press that can print an infinite number of dollars at essentially no cost.

3. How does one stop the cash from piling up? Put another way, how does me buying a stock do anything to affect the cash piling up on the sidelines? I have cash sitting on the sidelines. If I use my cash to buy a stock from someone else, then I have less cash and more stock and they have more cash and less stock. Between us, nothing has changed. There's still just as much cash sitting on the sidelines.

4. Investigates? I'm pretty sure this won't rank up there with the Watergate investigations. At best, it's more of a finding Jimmy Hoffa level of investigation and at worst it's more of a Tom Cruise has ties to the Church of Scientology level of investigation. Just sayin'.

4 comments:

Mr Slippery said...

Oooo, secrets! Just you and I and the CNBC reporters know the secret to making money in stocks!

Wait, since this was broadcast on cable TV, millions of people probably also know the secret.

Wait, since this was broadcast on CNBC, just you and I and the CNBC reporters know the secret to making money in stocks!

She said we have a 98% chance of making 20% if we buy stocks now. Those numbers were conjured by Bank of America who went bankrupt seven years ago and was saved by the US government, but I bet they are smart even though they went bankrupt. Shhh! It's a secret!

Stagflationary Mark said...

Mr Slippery,

Hahaha!!

I am feasting on all of your delicious sarcasm! :)

Perhaps BOA should consider adding BS to its name.

Black Swan Bank of America

We can predict the future with up to 98% accuracy up to 50% of the time, with a margin of error of up to 100%. Trust us. We're a bank.

mab said...

Bank of America who went bankrupt seven years ago and was saved by the US government

They may be too big to fail, but they're not too big to flail!

Stagflationary Mark said...

mab,

Since they were frail, we had to bail!

Got pail? They must prevail!

When banks start to ail, don't forget Quayle!

Bank failures are caused by depositors who don't deposit enough money to cover losses due to mismanagement. - Dan Quayle