Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Magic Trick: How to Make the 1% Disappear!

People are always asking me how we can eliminate the 1%. I've never really had a good answer until now.

April 6, 2016
TheStreet: Why Costco's Migration from Amex to Visa Is a Big Blow to Wal-Mart

They will receive 4% cash back for up to $7,000 in gas purchases, 3% cash back on travel purchases and restaurants even outside the U.S., and 2% cash back on all other purchases, leading to significant savings.

See that 2% cash back on all other purchases? I'm about to perform a magic trick. Let's read the next paragraph!

The only cash back that stays the same is the 1% eligible for all other purchases, irrespective of whether or not they are made at Costco.

Tada! See? It's now only 1%. The other 1% just vanished right before your eyes. Thank you. You've been a wonderful audience. Hope you enjoyed the show! Hahaha!

As a side note, here is a far less obfuscated way to word it, directly from the article this article cites as a source.

Additionally, it will give 2 percent back on Costco purchases and 1 percent back on all other purchases. The Costco American Express paid 1 percent back on all other purchases, whether or not they were at Costco.

I'm glad they didn't quote it directly though. It would have ruined my act! Yes, sir. Better to obfuscate and bewilder rather than quoting something that easy to understand. How else can you justify getting paid the big bucks?

Hold on. Why are you booing me? This was a great trick! What? You wanted me to eliminate the richest one percent? What? You think I'm some sort of miracle worker just because I'm a Bernie Sanders sympathizer? A man's got to know his limitations!! I am but a simple anonymous heckler on the vast internets and interwebs! I cannot bend space and fold time!!

Oh, what a tangled web we weave: When first we practise to deceive! - Sir Walter Scott

No comments: