Monday, April 27, 2015

Quote of the Day

April 27, 2015
The market double whammy investors fear most

Apart from the investment markets, the rising cost of health care continues to be one of the chief concerns of middle-class Americans, and many people are looking to their financial advisors for help.

I'm trying to figure out what kind of help the financial advisors can offer.

1. I know you are concerned, so I will lower my fees. I wouldn't want you to have to choose between financial advice and medical advice someday. It's going to be painful for me though. The fees are needed to pay my health care and the moorage expenses for my yacht. You, me, your money, and my advice are kind of in this together. We're only going to be as strong as our weakest link.

2. You *need* more income. Might I suggest boosting your exposure to highly speculative investments on the hope that they pay off. Now that the stock market has tripled off the bottom and the Fed has permanently put an end to recessions, there has never been a better time to embrace extra risk.

3. Many financial advisors might tell you to stop buying so much coffee at Starbucks and divert some of it to health care expenses instead. Not me. You can't afford to stop. Starbucks is your top stock holding. The more you drink the wealthier you and I become.

4 comments:

Joseph Constable said...

The second broker I had (I fired the first because he thought my losses were good because it gave me tax losses), told me his clients are more critical of him if he missed an opportunity for them than if he lost money for them.

Mostly people deserve to lose their money. The article made me think that.

Anonymous said...

I donno, I'm tinking ders some real opportunity for my TBTF financial institution to make some more loot here. I was tinking: wud if we offered people "health loans"? Yeah..., you don't got enough healt, we give ya loans ta make ya healty again. Den, we package deez loans up and sell-em to investers. What can happen; dey all ain't gonna die at once, du loans are a sure ting, right?. It's a win-win for everybody, and just anuder example how my financial institution strives to do Gods work ta help peoples fulfill der Merica dream of a healty life. Ya know what I'm talkin' about?

Stagflationary Mark said...

Joseph Constable,

Mostly people deserve to lose their money.

Easy come, easy go.

Those four words go a long way towards explaining why many lottery winners eventually go bankrupt.

Stagflationary Mark said...

Anonymous,

Health Insurance Vehicles sound like a real positive. Much better than Structured Investment Vehicles (SIVs)!

Probably best to not come up with an acronym for it though.

Few would invest in HIV+, no matter how much it AIDS a portfolio, lol. Sigh.

Shame on me. Bad Mark! Bad! Bad!